Moving forward with your emotions during a job loss
Q: I was humiliated over my recent job loss. It was difficult to avoid the feeling that there must be some inadequacy in me, or otherwise, I would not have been let go. Even though I knew that many, many more talented people than me had been shown the door, this was little comfort when I was going through it. I don’t know how to deal with it other than just blocking it out and carrying on. I don’t see any value in dwelling on it, but perhaps there is a more constructive way of dealing with it other than denial. What is the best way to deal with emotions when you lose your job?
A: It helps to understand that job loss is a process. Being aware of your emotions and how they can affect your job search is vital during a change. Whether you have experienced a job loss before or not, knowing what to expect and talking through the process can help with some of the stress of change. If you do not deal with them, your emotions will sneak up on you.
Emotions or feelings of loss can easily intensify as months go by with no job in sight. Leaving job candidates to turn on themselves by asking, “What’s wrong with me?”
Even the most positive, optimistic, and emotionally healthy person can begin to feel inadequate during a long job search.
Some common signs of anxiety are restless sleep, obsessive worry, difficulty concentrating, short temper, analysis to the point of paralysis, fears about the future, and constant thoughts about “what ifs.”
The good news is that emotions can be temporary and often change when you get clarity toward your search goals.
Here are some suggestions that have helped others move forward:
• When physically and mentally inactive, your emotions and thoughts will often reflect negativity. You cannot afford to be passive or inactive during a job loss for long periods.
• Reach out for professional assistance if you feel you are stuck and cannot seem to move forward.
• Keep moving — staying still and hiding under the umbrella of “chores” at home will only hinder your momentum in your job search.
• Exercise at least four days a week and maintain a healthy diet.
• Start journaling your thoughts daily. Writing helps you process your job search actions.
• Avoid jumping into something new on the rebound. Let yourself experience all the stages of grief associated with a job loss. Jumping blindly into the first opportunity that presents itself, only to realize within a few weeks that you are in a job you dislike, can be a mistake. Consider the long-game view of your career, not just the next job.
• Create a daily schedule and stick with your plan rather than waiting for things to change.
• Reach out to people who have experienced a similar job loss and gain a different perspective on how they succeeded in moving forward.