With ‘SNL’ performance, the last laugh may be on Trump
Here’s how I would write up Donald Trump’s job performance as host of “Saturday Night Live” last weekend:
He turned in a solid effort, although he should have memorized his lines and relied less on the Teleprompter. You know how he always brags about not needing a Teleprompter on the campaign trail? Things were different on “SNL.” He looked like he was reading to the class.
The opening monologue, with dueling Trump imitators, and Trump presidency dream sequence, were wickedly funny. Larry David yelling “Trump is a racist” was a wonderful surprise. Protesters had offered $5,000 to anybody who would disrupt the show from the audience, and David did the honors. David said he did it for the money, poor baby.
Trump said, as a businessman, he understood.
The thing that has me wondering, though, why would David, one of Hollywood’s most outspoken liberals, do anything that might help Republican candidate Trump win votes?
As the show wore on, and spun out of laughs, another thought occurred. This time
a conspiracy theory: Is it possible that “SNL” producer Lorne Michaels, who will not be the keynote speaker at next year’s Republican convention, threw the show to sabotage the Trump campaign? It was that excruciating ... rockbottom stuff.
Nothing but the hits: The best thing about Billy Joel’s concert at Toyota Center: He didn’t say the most frightening words in the world of classic rock ’n’ roll … “Let’s slow it down and play a few songs from my new album.”
Aarrghh! New material from oldies acts? The worst!
While Joel remains one of the most popular concert draws (17,000 fans in sold-out Toyota Center Saturday night) and biggest record sellers in music history (99.5 million albums and singles), he hasn’t released a pop album in more than two decades.
His last album of new material was “River of Dreams” in 1993.
Coolest thing about a Billy Joel concert: Wherever he plays, he does songs made famous by artists from that state. For his Toyota Center show, he performed “Boys of Summer” (Don Henley), “Piece of My Heart” ( Janis Joplin), “Peggy Sue” (Buddy Holly), “Rock Around the Clock” (Bill Haley) and “Oh Pretty Woman” (Roy Orbison).
Then he said, “This guy’s from Texas,” and went into “Dance to the Music” by Sly and the Family Stone. It got the crowd, including those lucky ticket holders behind the stage, up and dancing. But Sly Stone is from Texas? Didn’t know that. I thought he was a San Francisco disc jockey who put together a band in the ’60s and created the “psychedelic soul” sound.
Came home and looked it up. Sly Stone was born in Denton. Learn something new …
Coming up: The greatest one-hit wonder of them all, Debby Boone, will perform March 11 and 12 at the Tobin Center in San Antonio. Her only hit song was “You Light Up My Life” in 1977. But it was No. 1 for a thenrecord 10 consecutive weeks. She never cracked the charts again.
One week later, her father Pat Boone, who had slightly more hit singles (38 of them between 1955 and 1962), will perform at Dosey Doe on I-45 in The Woodlands.
His No. 1 hits: “Ain’t That a Shame,” “I Almost Lost My Mind,” “Don’t Forbid Me,” “Love Letters in the Sand” (seven weeks), “April Love” (six weeks) and “Moody River.” Tickets for the March 19 show, which includes a three-course dinner, are $98 to $158, available at doseydoe. com. I recommend the chicken-fried steak and smashed potatoes.
Looking good: For the second consecutive week, the University of Houston played in a downpour at TDECU Stadium. But when it rains, UH pours it on.
The undefeated Cougars beat Cincinnati, 33-30, and moved up to No. 16 in both the AP and USA Today coaches polls.
If UH wins out, and Ohio State stumbles, the Coogs could meet the Buckeyes in the Peach Bowl in Atlanta on New Year’s Eve. Adding spice to the bowl, UH head coach Tom Herman would be facing his former team. He was Ohio State’s offensive coordinator before taking the UH job last year.
Nothing beats beating your old boss.
Home cooking tip: The other night, I got the urge to make French toast at home. I ran to the closest supermarket, which happens to be Whole Foods, to pick up a loaf of any old white bread. There I saw Authentic French Brioche, $5.99, from a company called Euro Classic Imports Specialty Foods.
French toast made with real French bread from France! Why use simple white bread when I can go upscale for three or four times the price?
This bread made incredible French toast. Better than IHOP, Buffalo Grille, the Egg and I, Peeps and all the other breakfast joints. The brioche was so soft and buttery, it really soaked up the egg mixture. The finished French toast was soggy and mushy in the middle … perfect!
I shook on some cinnamon sugar and drizzled it with syrup. Log Cabin? Aunt Jemima? Mrs. Butterworth’s? Please, you amuse me. I sprung for the hard stuff, real maple syrup from Vermont.
One of the best breakfast for dinners I’ve ever had.