Texans give fans something to celebrate in Indy
First win in 14 tries at Indy nets sole possession of first place in AFC South This was an actual emergency, and Weeden proved an able responder
Texans fans at Lucas Oil Stadium cheer on their team’s 16-10 victory — the Texans’ first win in Indianapolis in 14 tries. With the victory, the Texans move into sole possession of first place in the AFC South with two games left.
INDIANAPOLIS — What do you want, Brandon Weeden? Just say it, and it’s yours. Free drinks for life in the fourth-largest city in the country?
How about a lifetime contract from Texans owner Bob McNair, with a fat guaranteed monthly check for as long as you’re alive?
What’s that? You’re dreaming of something larger, more permanent and completely surreal?
OK, then. A statue. That’s right: You’re getting a statue. Right next to those roaring bulls on Kirby Drive, erected directly in front of NRG Stadium for all of Houston to always see.
Weeden as Rocky. Weeden as the Texans’ true and only savior. Weeden the conquering Colts killer, ending 13 years of absolutely depressing franchise history and bringing a merry Christmas to Houston five days early.
“I saw a poised man. A leader. … No fear at all,” said wide receiver Jaelen Strong, who capped a 10-play, 90-yard, fourth-quarter drive with an 8-yard touchdown pass from the totally unexpected answer to annual Midwest embarrassment since 2002.
Texans fans are never going
to forget you, 32-year-old guy from Oklahoma City who was quietly claimed off waivers from the Cowboys on Nov. 18, anonymously walked into Lucas Oil Stadium on Sunday not knowing many of his teammates’ names, and took only one first-team snap during practice last week (a run play, of course).
As long as I’m doing this for a living, I’ll never forget 16-10 Texans over Indy in 2015. Actually, I’m still trying to convince myself it even happened.
Did we truly see this? Weeden beating the Colts. Weeden calmly arriving in the land of Peyton Manning, Andrew Luck and Dan Orlovsky, leaping off the bench when he wasn’t supposed to ever touch the field, and doing what no one in Texans history had ever done.
Do you believe in miracles?!! Believe in Weeden. Want crazy? Weeden helped himself process the complexity of the Texans’ offense — which he initially referred to as learning Chinese backward — by talking out loud at home while his family was out of town.
“If there was a hidden camera, it’d be pretty embarrassing,” said Weeden, who took over with 1:24 left in the second quarter after supposed savior T.J. Yates tore his ACL, following Ryan Fitzpatrick and Tom Savage as Texans QBs torn apart by Indy’s cruel winters.
Cowboys castoff Crazier? Weeden was waived by Dallas a month ago, with Jerry Jones’ wondrous 4-10 Cowboys deciding they were too good for a fourthyear backup who went 5-15 overall with the Browns.
Super duper, mind-blowing insane?
Weeden was a secondround pick by the Yankees, played pro baseball for five years, then was almost laughed out of the NFL after becoming another failed first-rounder in Cleveland.
That guy beat the Colts. That dude replaced 0-13 with 1-0. That man went 11-of-18 for 105 yards, one touchdown and a 95.8 passer rating during a potential season-defining victory that has the Texans two games away from not just winning the AFC South but hosting a playoff game for the first time in three years.
Now that I think about it, a statue really might not be enough.
Brandon Kyle Weeden, 6-4 and 228 pounds out of Oklahoma State, deserves a take-the-day-off-of-work downtown parade.
“I’m excited to find a way to get it done … and get the monkey off our back, per se. I didn’t know there was a monkey,” said Weeden, who was unaware the Texans hadn’t won in Indy until he started hearing about it from everyone midweek.
Ask Weeden to describe his previously non Hall of Fame-ish career, and the words stream out in waves, rolling from city to city, situation to situation. The No. 22 overall pick in 2012, forced into starting as a rookie for the horrid 5-11 Browns. Tony Romo’s buried afterthought, touching green only when Jerry’s precious baby became broken again.
‘Kind of a weird deal’
“It’s just been kind of a weird deal,” Weeden said.
Weird. Crazy. Also known as the Texans’ unending quest to see how many QBs they can squeeze into a single season of professional football.
In the year of “Hard Knocks,” it’s been Brian Hoyer, Ryan Mallett, Hoyer, Yates, Hoyer, Yates and Weeden. Last season: Fitzpatrick, Mallett, Fitzpatrick, Savage and Case Keenum.
Whew. It’s exhausting just typing all that.
“We’ve been through, I don’t know, maybe 45 quarterbacks in the last two years?” defensive end J.J. Watt said.
Coach Bill O’Brien won with Keenum out of a deer blind with the playoffs on the line in 2014. Offensive coordinator George Godsey suddenly made Yates work against undefeated Cincinnati on “Monday Night Football” after Hoyer blanked out because of a concussion. But Weeden’s erasing the Colts in 2015 tops it all.
“He acts like a pro; he carries himself like a pro; he is a pro,” O’Brien said.
Obviously. But this isn’t how it’s supposed to go.
Andre Johnson still can’t win in Indy and Weeden can?
That’s the story. That’s the script.
And I’ve got to stop this column here. I have a 6 a.m. Monday flight. There’s a parade in Houston I have to make. Be a friend and save me a spot in line.
We can figure out whom O’Brien’s team is hosting in the playoffs while waiting for the Texans’ Indy savior to appear.