Worried son foresees trouble in parents’ all-day drinking.
Dear Abby:
I have been concerned about my parents for some time now. They live in a retirement community. They have a nice home and don’t have to worry about money.
The problem is, they drink every day — sometimes from noon to when they go to bed. Many times, their drinking has caused arguments and police visits. When I express my concern, they tell me to stay out of it, mind my own business, and they’re retired and have earned the right to do whatever they want.
Abby, I don’t mind them having cocktails every now and then, but this has gotten out of hand. I think they have become alcoholics. They refuse to listen to me. What should I do? Worried William
Dear Worried William:
As people age, their bodies are less able to metabolize alcohol than when they were younger. When things get out of hand to the extent that the police are being called, I agree something must be done. Because there is this level of disruption going on, it follows that the neighbors must be less than thrilled.
That your parents drink is only part of the problem. Elderly people can suffer from balance problems even when they are sober. It is common for someone who is inebriated to fall, which could cause your parents to suffer serious injury.
An intervention might be in order. Before attempting one, attend some Al-Anon meetings so you can listen to others’ similar experiences and learn how they were handled. Visit al-anon.alateen.org, or call 1-888-4-ALANON to find a meeting near you.
Dear Abby:
I went out to dinner with a close friend. During the hour we were at the restaurant, she made and received no less than 11 cellphone calls. These were entire conversations, not unanswered rings or a quick, “I’m busy now. Call you later.”
If there had been extenuating circumstances, maybe I wouldn’t feel so offended. But the chats were with a co-worker, her boyfriend, her daughter, etc. This friend does “live” on her phone, but this was excessive even for her.
I thought it was ridiculous, and next time I may be “too busy” to meet her for dinner. Should I say something or just avoid or limit meals with her in the future? Put on Hold in Texas Dear Put on Hold:
Tell your friend that you were very hurt by her lack of consideration because you had looked forward to spending some time with her — not listening secondhand to her 11 conversations. Her behavior that night was thoughtless and rude, and she owes you an apology.