Texans stumble to another big loss in prime time
Elite of NFL again exposes O’Brien’s team as average
DENVER — As certain as I was the Texans had shown their true colors — Battle Red against average or worse teams, Rattle Red against good ones — I left room for benefit of the doubt because the 2016 season is young.
I like to avoid premature evaluation, and humiliating defeats at New England and Minnesota could turn out to be the early chapters in a special Texans story. Monday night’s game against the Broncos provided the Texans with an excellent opportunity for a plot twist. Instead, it was the same old story.
They stumbled, bumbled and eventually crumbled, falling to the defending Super Bowl
champs 27-9.
If you fell asleep watching the Texans’ insomnia-curing show, you didn’t miss much. With their second touchdown-less “performance” of the season, the Texans proved once again they are incapable of matching the best teams in the NFL.
And they are particularly putrid away from NRG Stadium.
The Texans have scored one touchdown in three road games this season, and that meaningless one came in the final minutes of a game they trailed 31-6.
They might be worse than we thought they were.
Bill O’Brien, who according to owner Bob McNair was hired as coach because of his innovative, modern offense, and ability to adjust on the fly, was outcoached. Again.
This time by oldschool, unable-to-adjust-on-the-fly, you-know-what’s-coming Gary Kubiak. Yeah, the guy he replaced.
As was the case last week against the Colts, the Texans found themselves down by double figures early in the fourth quarter.
They came through with a miracle comeback to beat Indianapolis in overtime.
The Broncos aren’t the Colts.
Bottom of the barrel
Those Texans you saw last week aren’t the Texans you seen when they face good teams.
The Texans have scored a league-low 10 touchdowns this season. They are in last place in that category behind 10 teams that have played only six games.
No way in the world were the Texans going to score two touchdowns in the final minutes against the Broncos.
O’Brien likes to say his Texans are a game-plan offense.
Well, his game plans aren’t working.
And quarterback Brock Osweiler took another step backward in a steady lack of progression that has to be concerning.
With Osweiler at the controls, the Texans are the worst offense in the NFL. Call it Brock bottom. I rarely mention how much money Osweiler is making, because it is almost irrelevant.
He would be overpaid if he were making minimum wage.
Osweiler isn’t good enough to make things happen when everything isn’t laid out for him. And O’Brien isn’t laying things out for him.
With a hodgepodge of NFL also-rans at quarterback, the Texans averaged 21 points per game last year, which was 21st in the league.
They are averaging just 16.7 points per game this season, 31st in the league.
Worse yet, we have seen little evidence, if any, Osweiler is getting better.
In seven starts with the Texans, Osweiler is worse in every statistical category than he was in his first seven starts in the league, which came with the Broncos last year.
His misfires are so off target it is doubtful he will be an elite quarterback.
Osweiler, who turns 26 next month, has been in the NFL for five seasons. Passers don’t typically develop pinpoint accuracy this late in a career.
He was dreadful Monday, completing just 22 of 41 attempts for 131 yards with his longest completion going for only 13 yards.
Dubious distinction
It was one of the worst yards-per-pass attempt outings the NFL has ever seen.
Only one other time in NFL history has a quarterback attempted 40 or more passes and totaled fewer yards.
Only twice has a Texans quarterback thrown 30 passes and totaled fewer yards, and both of those were David Carr’s rookie year, the inaugural season for the franchise.
At least Osweiler managed for the first time this season to get through a game without throwing an interception.
Of course, he had to give the ball away somehow. So, on a clear, dry, beautiful evening, somehow the ball slipped out of Osweiler’s hands. It was ruled a fumble and led to Denver’s final score, a field goal that put the game out of reach.
Thank goodness the AFC Sour, I mean South, is there for the taking.
The Texans fell to 4-3 but are in first place.
Given that they provide so much at which to scoff, perhaps we should give the Texans a break on their weak division.
When it comes to the NFL, being the best of a bad lot isn’t as insulting as one might think.
A guaranteed home playoff game, reward for winning a division, is not a bad goal to set.
Of course, the Texans aspire to be more than one-and-done playoff appetizers for the big dogs to devour. God bless ’em. There is a reason you don’t see a lot of postgame interviews from the Washington Generals’ locker room.
Diminished expectations tend to lessen the agony of defeat.
Little team that can’t
But the Texans think they belong. They think they can be one of the big boys.
“To go out there and have a performance like we did is extremely disappointing,” Osweiler said. “We will find a way to clean this up.”
They think they can. They think they can. They think they can.
You know they can’t, though, right?