Play it smart when dining out to avoid the 21-minute wait

According to Nowait, a website that tells subscribers how long the line is at “thousands of casual-dining restaurants across the country,” the average wait for a table in Houston is 21 minutes.

Casual dining is a segment of the restaurant business that’s between my fast-food joints and Alison Cook’s candlelit, upscale eateries.

Casual-dining restaurants offer table service in a relaxed atmosphere. Some offer adult drinks. Expect to leave a tip at these places, which include Applebee’s, Black-eyed Pea, Cheddar’s, Olive Garden, Outback Steakhouse, P.F. Chang’s (Wednesday night it’s hopping), Red Robin and Red Lobster.

About that 21-minute wait for these places:

There is no restaurant in Houston — drive-through to sit-down to stadium concession stands to ice cream trucks — that I’ll wait 21 minutes be waited on. And, no, I do not wish to have a drink at the bar while they get my table ready.

This is Houston. There’s probably a restaurant across the street that’s just as good, prorated for no waiting.

I’m not a waiter. That’s why I like IHOP. They play fair. The waiting area is in the front window. If I pull into the parking lot and see people standing around for a table, I keep moving. I’m confident there’s a Denny’s close by. And Denny’s has new “fluffier” pancakes. There’s no shortage of breakfast joints here. And except for a few places, like the Buffalo Grille and Fountain View Café, which serve manhole covers, pancakes are pancakes.

I know, you’ve got a place that makes the most fantastic pancakes anywhere ever. OK, let me know, and I’ll give them a try.

When I landed in Houston, John Lander, host of the “93Q Morning Zoo” radio show, told me, “the trick to eating at any restaurant you want, especially the better places, and never waiting is … just go at 6 p.m. People who eat at good restaurants don’t eat dinner at 6 p.m.”

Easy for Lander, he went to

bed at 9 p.m. every night so he could wake up at 4 a.m. for his show.

I use Lander’s Law when I’m in New York over July 4 weekend and I’m dying for a sausage pie at Lombardi’s CoalOven Pizzeria on Spring Street near Little Italy. If you go at 7 p.m., there’s a line practically to Mulberry Street. Meanwhile, there’s a pizza place a few doors down and two more around the corner with empty tables. They’re not as good.

Solution: Lombardi’s usually won’t make you wait if you get there around 3 p.m. Works for me.

There’s definitely an advantage to living at odd hours — the whole “breakfast for dinner” thing. McDonald’s just reported an uptick in quarterly sales. You know what they’re crediting? All-day breakfast.

Sort of borrowing from the first lady, when they go early … I go late.

I completely get Dracula’s lifestyle. Supermarkets stay open until midnight and beyond. That’s when I go, never a line at the checkout. You may have to maneuver your cart around the night crew mopping the floor and stocking shelves. You may have to holler, “Is anybody here?” at the checkout register. Don’t worry, somebody will come running.

Quick note: I’m not happy about Randall’s removing the self-checkout machines.

I avoid McDonald’s and Wendy’s drive-throughs at peak rush time, say 11:30 a.m. to 1 p.m.

Peak rush time at the Chick-fil-A? All day long. A Chick-fil-A close to my house has three lines of cars feeding into one drivethrough lane during lunch. If New Jersey Gov. Chris Christie is ever looking for work … .

The smart play at Chick-fil-A is to park and go in. Much faster. Big fan of their new Egg White Grill breakfast sandwich. It comes on an English muffin, the unsung hero of the entire baked-goods industry.

At Sunday brunch, start at the end of the buffet line. That’s where the good stuff is, anyway. Don’t fill up your plate with stupid salad and dumb dinner rolls. The prime rib and crab legs are only 15 feet away.

At Golden Corral, grab a table near the fried shrimp and chicken counter. When you see them dump a fresh load of chicken in the tray, you leap. That’s how you get the thighs and breasts. Legs and wings are for slowpokes.

If you play it smart and stay flexible, you won’t have to endure that 21-minute average wait for a table in Houston.