DEAR ABBY:
Adult children slow to embrace mom’s new husband.
Dear Abby:
I lost my husband a few years ago and am now remarried. Some of my adult children, although they did not want me to be alone and they “say” they are happy for me, have been slow in welcoming my new husband.
I in no way expect him to be a replacement for their father. I only wish they would welcome him into their lives as they would anyone else’s spouse. Wishing him a happy birthday and happy holidays directly would go a long way to making him feel accepted.
He has tried on numerous occasions to show an interest in their lives, but he receives little acknowledgment in return. His children have welcomed me into their lives. This has strained and changed my relationship with my children.
Is it asking too much of them to accept my husband as part of the family and to treat him that way? Missing My Family in Florida Dear Missing:
Have you told your children that the cool reception they have given your husband is harmful not only to him but also to you? If you have and they are still unable to warm up to him, it’s time to concentrate on building closer relationships with those relatives who are willing to be more welcoming.
Remember, we can’t change other people. We can, however, change ourselves, and by doing so, change the way we react to them.
Dear Abby:
I am a step-grandfather. Must I go to a grandchild’s church performances even though I’m an atheist? Command Performance in Oregon Dear Command:
If you want a close and loving relationship with your grandchild (notice I didn’t say “step-”), you should absolutely be present to encourage and support that child!