Thumbs up, down
A hearty salute to warriors, Abbott’s misfire, and Van Gundy’s second act.
We could cover our whole page with thumbs pointing up, but that still wouldn’t adequately express our gratitude this Memorial Day weekend to all who have died in defense of our country. And let us also remember those left behind to tend the hearts and homes broken by war. Let us never forget.
If somebody cracked a joke about shooting Gov. Greg Abbott, it would be an indefensible outrage and maybe even a crime. But our state’s highest elected official, visiting a gun range for a bill-signing ceremony Friday, held up a target riddled with bullet holes and joked, “I’m going to carry this around in case I see any reporters.” We’re tempted to tell the governor, “Come and take it,” but this is no laughing matter. In a week when another politician was charged with body-slamming a reporter, and in a state bordering Mexico where journalists are literally getting gunned down in the streets, the guv’s shoot from the hip wisecrack was a misfire.
Santa Anna himself would have been proud of the secrecy shenanigans surrounding the management of The Alamo. Our state’s greatest shrine to fighting tyranny is now once again the site of a battle, this time over whether we nosy taxpayers have the right to know pesky details about the private nonprofit managing the mission. The General Land Office under the command of Land Commissioner George P. Bush is declining to release basic documents about the Alamo Endowment and the Alamo Complex Management Company, arguing these outfits are contractors, not government entities. Come on, now. Did Bowie, Travis and all the other martyrs of The Alamo die to defend a shadow government?
Justice is blind, but it can also have a dark sense of humor. Witness the words of the honorable State District Judge Jim Wallace as he presided over a bond hearing for Leon Phillip Jacob, the failed doctor charged in the heavily publicized solicitation of the capital murder case that led to the suicide of popular Montrose veterinarian Valerie Busick McDaniel. When lawyer George Parnham told the judge that Jacob cared about his ex-girlfriend, his honor cheekily replied, “I mean, that’s why you hire a hitman.” Now an incensed Parnham, who called the remark “snide” and “snarky,” wants the judge removed from the case.
So this explains why traffic is so bad on the North Freeway. In case you missed it, Conroe — Conroe! — is now officially classified as the fastestgrowing large city in the U.S. No, this designation doesn’t come from one of those cheesy headline-chasing business magazine lists; it comes from none other than the U.S. Census Bureau, which determined that Conroe’s population of more than 50,000 residents grew 11 times faster than the national average between 2015 and 2016.
And in case you missed the wingnut conspiracy theory du jour, U.S. Rep. Blake Farenthold of Corpus Christi wants to make sure you won’t forget it. In a CNN interview about investigations into Russian interference in U.S. elections, Farenthold made a clumsy attempt at changing the subject to discredited speculation about the murder of a young man who worked for the Democratic National Committee. (This balderdash was so embarrassing, Fox News disowned it, and Sean Hannity reportedly lost advertisers after he recklessly promoted it.) When challenged to provide details, Farenthold lamely ventured, “There’s stuff circulating on the internet.” Uh-huh. Also circulating on the internet: Photos of jackalopes, chupacabras, Bigfoot in East Texas and Congressman Farenthold in duck-print pajamas. Guess which one of them is real.
Where do professional head coaches go after they’re fired? Jeff Van Gundy, the former Rockets head coach, is likely to be at an aquaponics farm studying tilapia fish tanks at a charter school for disadvantaged teens. Gundy’s second act as board member and avid supporter of Pro-Vision Academy in Sunnyside may be his best act yet. He’s also trying to talk well-heeled donors into helping build the school a new football stadium. Gundy’s no longer a coach without a team. He’s become a man with a cause.