DEAR ABBY:
Irresponsible boyfriend earns nothing but woman’s anger.
Dear Abby:
My boyfriend cheated on me the whole time I was pregnant last year. He lived in Florida, and I lived in Missouri. He didn’t make it back for our son’s birth as he promised.
Now that he’s back, he stays out all night. He won’t get a job to help support our family. He lies in bed all day, gets so drunk he can’t drive and doesn’t help around the house, either. It’s obvious I should let him go. I’m 11 years older, and he obviously isn’t ready to grow up, even though he’s 30.
I love him, but I’m tired of being treated this way. How can I get over this? Dear Can’t Let Go:
You say you are tired of being treated that way? Congratulations on your burst of clarity. It has finally dawned on you that you have been enabling a lazy, ungrateful, irresponsible freeloader who has no respect for you or his child.
You should have realized you would be raising two children when he didn’t care enough to show up for the birth of the baby. Do what you know you must: Kick him out and move on.
Dear Abby:
Last year, my son started kindergarten. A child who was allergic to peanuts and soy, among other things, was in his class. Therefore, as a working mom, quick-fix peanut butter sandwiches were out of the question. The school is cautious.
What started to bother me was the fact that because one child had allergies, treats for the other 20 kids were prohibited — birthday cakes, candies, cookies, anything with eggs, etc. This has continued into Boy Scouts. Again, all the children have to go without because of this one child.
Must all 20 kids accommodate one so he doesn’t feel left out, or does his mom start teaching her child that he has allergies and there are foods he can’t have? They aren’t going to make a college dorm free of peanut butter. Shouldn’t he start to understand that now?
I want to make gingerbread houses during the holidays and have eggnog with the kids. I understand I should be grateful my child doesn’t suffer from these allergies, but what are the boundaries? Dear Just:
This precaution is not meant to be an inconvenience. It is meant to save lives. If you wish to make gingerbread houses and special treats for your child and his playmates, nothing is stopping you. But they should not be taken to school if there is any chance the classmate with allergies could get ahold of one of them. It’s common for children to trade lunches or share the components with a friend, and one mistake could result in a trip to the hospital or worse.
DearAbby.com Dear Abby P.O. Box 69440 Los Angeles, CA 90069