’TIS THE SEASON FOR A GOOD HOLIDAY ROM-COM
I guess you could call it a guilty pleasure. For as long as I can remember, I’ve always had a thing for made-for-TV Christmas movies. You know the ones I’m talking about: tried-and-true romcom films that feel like an elevator pitch for a movie hybrid — “It’s ‘Mean Girls’ meets Christmas!” (a real movie called “Christmas Crush,” by the way) — with actors who are just familiar enough that you probably don’t remember their names. These are not your mama’s chick flicks, and they’re certainly not Nora Ephron’s. But there’s usually a somewhat plucky female lead whose shoes I could easily walk a mile in, who meets cute with some guy who is somehow down to earth and generically good looking in the Calvin Klein-model way, yet always underappreciated and overlooked by the other sex. This female lead is a go-getter who “doesn’t have time for love right now,” (but definitely does have time to blow out her hair perfectly, every damn morning — which, honestly, is mystifying). He’s a sweet-as-pie foil to the snobby finance dude she’s been dating for the past couple years. And over the course of almost exactly 90 minutes, they weave a tale of cookie-cutter true love that wipes my mind of all the Gloria Steinem I’ve ever read and fills me with pure hope that this marriage plot will work out.
I get so invested in these movies that last week I found myself yelling “Kiss him!” at the TV during “Love at the Christmas Table,” which stars Winnie from “The Wonder Years” and Ethan from the millennial reboot of “90210,” because of course it does.
It’s so easy to be snarky about these movies, which dominate the schedules of Lifetime and the Hallmark Channel this time of year. And yet, here I am: warm, fuzzy socks kicked up onto the coffee table, settling in for the umpteenth movie this season. In fact, I’ve watched so many of them on Netflix that the streaming site’s algorithm now suggests I add “Christian Mingle: The Movie” to my must-watch list.
Does that make me want to reevaluate everything I thought I knew about myself? Absolutely. Will it keep me from watching Zach from “Saved by the Bell” and the blonde girl from “Varsity Blues” risk it all for true love in “Groundhogs Day Meets Christmas” (“The 12 Dates of Christmas”)?
No way. Pass the cocoa, because I am here for that.
If you’re like me, and you’ve watched enough of these movies to wonder just how many toy stores/bakeries/Christmas tree farms in danger of going out of business can possibly be owned by lovesick 20-somethings, you’ve noticed the similarities and formulaic scripts — like all the writers are working off the same Mad Libs sheet.
That’s why I’ve created this Christmas Movie Bingo board: Keep it on the coffee table when you queue up your next holiday rom-com, and check off each square as it comes up. Believe me, it will fill up quicker than you think. And when it does, tweet us a photo with the hashtag #ChronBingo, and let us know which movies did the trick!