Thumbs up, down
Resolutions for new year in 2018.
2017 has been a year of ups and downs for the thumbs squad, so let us offer a few resolutions to help Houston start off 2018 on the right thumb, err, foot.
Texas A&M regent Tony Buzbee should make 2018 the year he stops dating women too young to appreciate his taste in art. A 29-year-old Dallas woman faces felony charges for allegedly destroying at least $300,000 worth of sculptures and original paintings — including two original Andy Warhols. Talk about your bad first dates.
The Astros have an easy resolution for 2018: Don’t change a thing. If there was a scratch on a Minute Maid foul pole or a particularly squeaky seat along the third-base line — leave it! Let’s do everything possible to make next year’s season feel exactly like the last one.
When it comes to Twitter, Ted Cruz had a bad year. First, he publicly clicks “favorite” on a porno clip, then he gets into a fight with Jedi Master Mark Hamill on the topic of net neutrality. For 2018, Cruz should resolve to tweet more like the newly confirmed circuit court justice (and Texas tweeter laureate) Don Willett. This means bad jokes, Blue Bell references and pics of the family.
Speaking of lamentable social media habits, Donald Trump should consider a change for next year: Play more golf. So far, he’s spent about 25 percent of his presidency at golf clubs. Why not make it an even 50 percent in 2018? Fingers wrapped around a sand wedge will remain a comfortable distance away from the Twitter app (and the red button).
Here’s a resolution for Immigration and Customs Enforcement officials: Stop arresting the good guys! National Press Club Press Freedom awardwinner Emilio Gutierrez and his son Oscar sit in an El Paso detention facility after fleeing death threats for exposing corruption in Mexico. His asylum petition, which was originally denied, is now getting a rehearing. ICE can start off the year right by letting the two out of jail while their case is adjudicated.
Anyone interested in living a purposeful life in 2018 should resolve to read Father Antonio Martinez Jr.’s posthumous book authored with David Warden, “Miracle in Motion.” When Martinez, known to all as Father T.J., received his diagnosis of stage IV stomach cancer at age 44, the short, athletic Jesuit priest prayed for a miracle until he realized that his miracle had already occurred in the creation of his school Cristo Rey Jesuit and in the progress of his beloved students. “Miracle in Motion” is his last message for those students. He encourages them also to try to reach him through prayer. “My door will always be open.”