DEAR ABBY: Red flags remain in romance that began 47 years ago.
Dear Abby:
“Jerry” and I were engaged to be married 47 years ago, but I felt he was too worldly and fast for me, so I broke off the engagement. I later married and had a happy marriage for 36 years until my husband died.
Jerry found me on Facebook and started writing. Abby, he has been married and divorced five times.
We eventually got together and have been seeing each other for almost two years now. He wants us to get married, but I am again hesitant. I enjoy spending time with him, but I’m also glad when he leaves. On the other hand, I have had some great times with him. We are so different in many ways — I’m not sure I can put up with some of the things he says and does.
What’s wrong with me? Why can’t I make up my mind what to do?
Rekindled Romance
Dear Rekindled:
Listen closely to your intuition. If you are enjoying the relationship as it is, you should keep it that way. It would be a mistake to wed a man who has struck out at marriage five times.
Dear Abby:
After many years of fiscal responsibility, hard work and sacrifice, we are set to pay off the mortgage on our house this year. I want to throw an old-fashioned open house/home mortgageburning party and burn the mortgage in the smoker after the turkey is done. My wife and I never had a reception after our wedding so long ago. I think we are due a party to celebrate this milestone.
My wife is against it. She says too many of our friends and family have financial troubles and a mortgage-burning party would rub their noses in it. She has “loaned” her brother $50,000 over the years, and more to her friends. Most of them have yet to repay.
I think a mortgageburning party would be an example for them to strive for and achieve, and we deserve to celebrate. Your answer will determine if we have the party. If you vote “yes,” you are invited.
Big Achievement
Dear Big:
Mortgage-burning parties went out of fashion decades ago for many reasons. Among them, the fact that many homeowners no longer live in the same place long enough to pay their mortgages in full.
As much as I’d like to attend your party, I have to vote with your wife. To invite guests whom you know are having money troubles to such an event would be insensitive.