Retired man gives his own generation the silent treatment.
Dear Abby:
My husband, who is retired, now prefers to talk exclusively to people under 21. He says he is “mentoring” them
He says he has no interest in talking to people our age, so when we get together with our friends, he says practically nothing. When I asked why, he said he prefers to impart his knowledge to younger people. I have suggested that he volunteer with younger people, but he just wants to hang out with them.
I’m not sure what to do. He seems depressed if they don’t respond to him in the way he would like. Mostly they show little interest in being with him. What, if anything, should I do about this? Concerned in the Midwest
Dear Concerned:
I can imagine few pastimes less appetizing than socializing with someone who “imparts knowledge.” They might find him more appealing if he asked them questions and listened to what they had to say.
Consider talking to him about your concern that he is socially isolating himself from contemporaries, because the longer he continues, the less welcome he will find himself. Until he comes to that realization and decides to fix it, do not expect anything to change.
Dear Abby:
My husband and I are proud parents of two adult daughters. They both graduated from a local university. Our rule was if they were to complete their education locally, they had to continue to live at home.
Now, our goddaughter “Justine” is in college. I was told recently that she’s been trying to convince her boyfriend to get a place together. Justine’s parents would prefer she remain at home, but won’t fight her if she moves in with her boyfriend.
We have been contributing financially toward Justine’s education. My husband and I feel that it’s a waste of money just so they can “play house.”
I’m afraid if I let her know how I feel, it will strain our relationship. Should this be my concern or should I let it go? Her Godmother
Dear Godmother:
It’s time for an honest talk with your goddaughter, and it wouldn’t be a bad idea if you included her parents. Explain that you would be uncomfortable subsidizing her if she lives with her boyfriend because it’s not how you raised your girls. You already have contributed generously to her studies.
To my Muslim Readers:
It is time for the breaking of the Ramadan fast. Happy Eid al-Fitr. Abby