Teens are kept in dark about dad’s office affair.
Dear Abby:
My husband of 20 years has blindsided me. Come to find out he’s “in love” with a co-worker and thinks they are soul mates.
Our close friends and family know about the affair, but our teenage kids don’t. He told them we simply grew apart.
His suddenly leaving with no attempt to work on the marriage sends a confusing message. Is it best the kids don’t know about her? How do I talk to them about the commitment of marriage without criticizing him? Confused in California
Your children are teenagers. Teens today are very wise in the ways of the world. They also are observant; when they visit their father at his place, they will draw their own conclusions.
As to talking to them about marriage, refrain from doing it when you are emotional, and leave out any reference to their father and his “soul mate” unless they bring it up. You have my sympathy.
Dear Abby:
I’m talking with a guy who’s in prison. He has eight months before he gets out. Do you think it’s wrong for me to keep talking with him? Is it wrong to date someone in prison? I go visit him. He wants to marry me when he gets out. He talks about how God has changed his life since he’s been in prison. Wondering in the East
Dear Wondering:
While it is possible to write to, talk to and visit someone who is in prison, it is not possible to “date” someone who is locked behind bars. While it is not wrong to talk to him, please understand that when he is released, his circumstances will be different.
Rather than talking about marriage at this point, he should be think- ing about how he will find a job and reintegrate himself into the real world. You should not jump into a lifetime commitment with him until he has done that. God may have changed his life while he has been in prison, but that doesn’t mean the task is done.
Dear Abby:
Every year in my neighborhood, “lost dog” signs appear the day after the Fourth of July. Would you please print a reminder to dog owners that noise from fireworks can cause pets to become so frightened they bolt from home and become lost. Keep your pets inside anytime you can hear fireworks. Pet Lover in Barnhart, Mo.
Dear Pet Lover:
I’m sure my readers will be grateful for your timely reminder.