Here’s how to break the taboo.

We’re all afraid to talk about money.

Iwant to get my own place. How much is your rent?” a friend once asked. He immediately put his hand over his mouth.

“Sorry,” he said. “That’s so rude.” Many of us grow up learning that money is one of a few topics — like politics, sex and religion — that you should avoid in polite company. You don’t brag about your net worth. You don’t share your salary with colleagues. You try not to ask your friends about their rent, even if it helps put your budget in perspective.

We’re discouraged from talking about money at every turn, but if you want to fix your financial situation, talking about it is necessary.

Even setting aside that social taboo of discussing money, there are practical hurdles in your way to getting better at money: Learning about money is intimidating, and there’s no structural system in place to teach us. Further still, we look at poor money skills as something to be ashamed and embarrassed of, which can keep us from being honest about money and seeking out the right kind of help.

“It’s difficult for people to discuss money because there’s no real agreed upon standard of measurement for financial metrics,” said Shannon McLay, a former financial adviser who left Merrill Lynch to launch The Financial Gym, a financial planning firm in Manhattan.

“We all know physical health numbers, like BMI, weight and clothing sizes, so we can assess where we fall on that spectrum,” Ms. McLay said. “Because of a lack of agreed upon financial metrics, people feel fear or shame around what their finances look like.”

All of these forces — the social taboo, the intimidation factor, embarrassment — conspire to keep us from talking about money and improving our circumstances. For example, according to Fidelity Investments, 43 percent of Americans don’t know how much money their spouse makes, yet fighting about money is a top predictor of divorce. When you don’t even know your household income, you can pretty much guarantee a financial fight will eventually erupt.

“There are few things that can cause joy, shame, contentment, anxiety and stress the way that money does,” said Korrena Bailie, a financial journalist

and senior editor of personal finance at Wirecutter, a New York Times company that reviews and recommends products.

“If your finances cause you stress and anxiety, it’s natural to want to keep this to yourself because you might feel embarrassed or ashamed about the decisions you made,” she said.

McLay added: “When you ignore your financial situation, minor problems happening on a regular basis build up to very substantial challenges.”

It’s time we all change the story and open up about money.

BREAK THE SILENCE

It’s hard to learn about something when you’re discouraged from talking about it. In that way, silence becomes a tool for oppression.

Student loan servicer Navient, for example, has been sued for misleading borrowers about repayment options, collectively costing those borrowers as much as $4 billion in interest. Wells Fargo made headlines for secretly opening millions of fraudulent customer accounts that generated at least $2.6 million in fees. If you don’t pay attention to your finances, there’s always someone waiting to take advantage of the fact.

As wages continue to stagnate and the income gap continues to widen, talking and learning about money is crucial for change.

“Not talking about money can have sweeping social effects, like stopping women from getting equal pay for equal work in the workplace,” Bailie said. This issue came up last year with Google in the spotlight. The Department of Labor lawsuit and investigation against the company claimed that “discrimination against women in Google is quite extreme, even in this industry.” Google refused to disclose data about employee salary history, according to the suit.

O.K., so you’re convinced: Talking about money is important. So how do we begin?

START SMALL

If you’re intimidated by personal finance and unsure of where to start, remember that you don’t have to learn everything about money at once.

Start with one financial lesson at a time. If you have a hard time saving, focus your literacy on emergency funds. If you want to get out of debt, research different debt payoff methods. Read a money blog or listen to a money podcast during your work commute. Dedicate just half an hour to financial literacy a day, and you’ll be surprised at how much you learn over time.

SCHEDULE MONEY MEETINGS

It’s important to make sure you and your partner or spouse are on the same financial page. Set aside time to talk about your finances, Bailie suggested.

“While it may be convenient to discuss whether you’re spending too much on travel while you’re in the car on a road trip, it can lead to a much healthier conversation if you sit down with a list of topics to discuss,” she said. Pick a regular time to hold money meetings and talk about any financial goals, setbacks and habits. This will help you avoid fighting about those topics in the future.

Here’s some advice on how to have that conversation with a loved one.

TALK TO YOUR FRIENDS

“I think that speaking with friends about your financial situation is critical for breaking the taboo around money,” McLay said. The more comfortable you are talking about topics like retirement plans, student loans and budgeting openly among your peers, the more opportunity you have to learn from each other.

“The more we talk about our situations and either accept them or work on improving them, the healthier our relationship with money will get,” she said.

BE MORE HONEST

Let’s say you want to throw a little extra at your student loan this month, which might mean cutting back on restaurants. When your friends invite you out for sushi, it’s easy to skirt the issue with an excuse like, “I’m busy that night, I need to do laundry.” Try being honest about where you stand with your finances instead.

This also creates the possibility for learning. Maybe your friend tells you how she paid off her loan early, for example. Or maybe she just starts suggesting cheaper hangout alternatives. Either way, you invite better financial habits and solutions when you break the money taboo.

SET A GOAL

Having a plan for your money may be the best way to get comfortable with it. McLay said the most successful clients she’s had are the ones who have clearly defined goals for themselves.

“Set three to four financial goals, like saving $5,000 or making $45,000 a year in a job, and start working toward those goals,” she said. “The more financial goals you achieve, the more comfortable you’ll get with your financial situation.”

FIND LIKE-MINDED PEOPLE

When you’re trying to get more comfortable with money, it helps to surround yourself with people who are on the same page, who have similar goals and are open to talking about those goals. You can use Facebook or LinkedIn to search for local money meetup groups.

There are also online forums and communities where members share negotiation tactics, debt payoff strategies and other important money moves.

“There are very few financial problems that improve by ignoring or neglecting them,” Bailie added. “When you begin to understand the value of being open and transparent about money, it starts to feel like an imperative.”