Not political pawns

Pundits and politicians need to steer clear of parents’ dispute over kid’s gender identity.

Kimberly Shappley has been closely following the custody battle involving the gender identity of a Dallas child whose divorced parents disagree on whether the 7-year-old should transition from male to female.

What she has seen has left Shappley, a mother of a transgender girl, frightened. We share her alarm.

As the case headed for a custody decision late last week, conservatives on social media whipped up a frenzy. Gov. Greg Abbott called for a child abuse investigation of the mother, a pediatrician who believes the child is a transgender girl. Right-wing media spread false information about the case and about the transition process for trans children. Republican state lawmakers even proposed legislation prohibiting puberty blockers and labeling gender transition for minors as child abuse.

The call-to-arms to “save” the child was deeply misguided and shockingly premature. It is troubling that the governor and other elected officials rushed to respond to the hyperventilating concerns on social media to intervene in an intensely personal family matter to score partisan points — especially when the case was on its way to a resolution in court.

A Dallas judge recently denied a request by the mother, Anne Georgulas, to assume sole custody of the child. Instead the couple’s joint custody was extended, ensuring the father, Jeffrey Younger, who contends the child is a male, will have a say in any future treatment.

But as Judge Kim Cooks noted in her ruling, there was never an order for the child to receive hormone therapy and puberty blockers to change their biological gender — contradicting claims made by the father and echoed loudly by right-wing pundits on social media. What’s more, court records show Georgulas had requested that the judge require mutual consent by both parents on medical decisions. She also had noted her child is too young for the treatments that had so inflamed social media, such as puberty blockers or surgery.

But none of those facts stopped right-wing activists — and a host of Republican politicians including Abbott, U.S. Sen. Ted Cruz and U.S. Rep. Dan Crenshaw — from parroting conservative media outrage.

How irresponsible. At least state Rep. Matt Krause, R-Fort Worth, who tweeted that he would introduce a bill banning the use of puberty blockers for children, now says he is doing more research into the issue.

Abbott and the others ought to follow his lead. Maybe they’d learn something about the lives of transgender people.

More than half of transgender male teens have reported attempting suicide, while 30 percent of transgender female teens said they attempted suicide. But when parents affirm gender identity, the risk of suicide drops. That’s a giant reason why parents should support their child as they explore gender identification. That’s not always easy, but it can be lifesaving.

Studies show that some children as young as 3 already know their gender identity, Angela Hale of Equality Texas notes.

The transition process starts with simply affirming the child’s gender identity by using the correct pronouns, letting the child dress as they choose and allowing them to play with toys they prefer. The use of reversible puberty blockers, which delay the onset of puberty, doesn’t start until the child reaches puberty and is done in consultation with doctors and therapists and with the child’s informed consent. Gender reassignment surgery isn’t even considered until someone reaches the age of consent.

Admittedly, it can be difficult for parents and other family members to accept that a child’s gender identity is different than the one assigned at birth.

At the start of her journey, Shappley was a devout Christian, social conservative and ordained minister who believed she needed to “save” her child from going to hell.

At 3 ½, Kai, named Joseph at birth, had started to insist that she was a girl. Shappley, guided by her religious teachings, thought it was some kind of “farce,” a fallout from the “gay agenda.” So she reprimanded and punished the child for calling herself a girl, playing with girls’ toys or turning T-shirts into dresses.

But as a nurse, Shappley was also reading up on medical research, studying scientific data and listening to the stories of transgender adults. Then, at 4, Kai started praying to die.

That’s when Shappley knew she had to accept her child’s gender identity.

Now 8, Kai is thriving as a transgender girl living in Austin, where the family moved after encountering resistance and hostility from schools and community in Pearland.

“Kai is not one who transitioned. She was born the way she is,” Shappley, who now considers herself a progressive, told the editorial board. “I was the one who had to transition.”

The key, Shappley said, was to truly listen to her daughter. That’s good advice for all parents — and something that is easier to follow if politicians and pundits stay out of the way.