Thumbs up, down
Dodgers fan talks trash; movies have to wait; alcohol-to-go may become permanent.
Remember when the Astros were wrapped up in a cheating scandal? No? Yeah, our memories of those ancient times of “BC” — Before COVID — are fuzzy, too. But there are some hatchets not even a pandemic can bury. An L.A. Dodgers fan recently sharpened his on the marquee of the historic Fox Theater in Bakersfield, putting up a message that he kept short but not-so-sweet: “NEVER FORGET. HOUSTON ASTERISKS. LET’S GO DODGERS!” We’ll be the bigger fans and let it go this time. After all, taunts and trash talk are part of baseball, and we would be sore, too, if the Dodgers had beaten the Astros in 2017 (but they didn’t, so we aren’t). Anyway, the best way to settle this is in a stadium. Major League Baseball is optimistic that the 2020 season may begin by July. Let’s keep our Thumbs crossed. If you head down to the movies this week, odds are that instead of finding the latest Hollywood blockbuster, you’ll experience a live version of “A Quiet Place.” Even though they can reopen under phase one of Gov. Greg Abbott’s plan to restart the economy, most theaters have chosen to keep the curtain closed. That’s partly because there’s nothing new to watch after studios shifted the release dates for their big franchise pictures. Apparently, not even James Bond or Black Widow can fight off the coronavirus. It’s probably for the best. It’s hard to justify risking your health over flicks that have been on iTunes for weeks, no matter how good the popcorn. Alcohol-to-go in Texas may be sticking around long past the pandemic. This week, Abbott tweeted that sales would continue after May 1. “From what I hear from Texans, we may just let this keep going on forever,” the governor tweeted Tuesday. Abbott signed a waiver March 18 allowing restaurants to offer alcoholic beverages with food purchases, as a way to support struggling businesses. Along with making beer drinkers very hoppy, we expect Abbott to get barley any push back. This state prides itself on personal responsibility and small government. Now, governor, about Sunday liquor sales …
It was worth a shot, but it takes only a few to ruin it for the many. Even as bars are excluded from Abbott’s first-round of openings, a “Honkytonk Crawl for Freedom” was planned at Fort Worth Stockyards on Friday. Suggesting that “liability” may not be part of his vodkabulary, political candidate Chris Putman organized the event, which bills itself as a chance for “freedom and libertyloving patriots” to challenge “ongoing un-Constitutional, government-imposed closures.” Disregarding the health risks of getting a large group of people together, Putman told potential attendees they would be breaking no laws, “rather you are doing precisely what our Founding Fathers … would want and expect you to do.” Ben Franklin was too hungover to comment.
Speaking of North Texas, we like to tease Dallasites and Fort Worthians, but it would take a real nerf herder not to celebrate a Richardson man who is brightening people’s day during the coronavirus outbreak. Just in time for Star Wars Day, Rob Johnson has been dressing up in a full Stormtrooper uniform and standing at an intersection. Carrying signs with some clever Star Warsinspired social distancing phrases — including “Good guys wear masks,” “I miss people,” and “Move alone, move alone” — Johnson has been braving the heat, hoping to get a smile and a wave from passersby. Lest anyone think this a PR stunt by the Galactic Empire to make their iron-fisted rule more palatable, we say … May the Fourth Be With You, nerds.