INTO THE BLUE
Blue October vocalist Justin Furstenfeld comes clean in new documentary. |
It’s become commonplace — trendy, even — for celebrities to acknowledge their struggles with mental illness. Demi Lovato, Lady Gaga, Kendrick Lamar and Michelle Williams of Destiny’s Child have talked openly about anxiety and depression.
But long before A-list PSAs and social-media confessions, Blue October frontman Justin Furstenfeld was sharing his personal battles through raw, unflinching lyrics. The pinnacle was 2006 album “Foiled,” which featured the Houston band’s biggest hits, “Hate Me” and “Into the Ocean.”
Furstenfeld’s candor forged an intense connection with fans that remains today. You can feel it even just reading comments on the band’s Facebook page. But he says it didn’t always come from a healthy place.
“Yes, I’ve always been the guy about mental illness, but if you look at my past stuff, it was not about, ‘Let’s figure out solutions.’ It was about, ‘Poor me, woe is me, all the world is against me, everything is dark, look at how bad Justin’s got it. Attention, attention, attention. Everyone give me attention,’ ” he says. “It’s only been this last eight years where I’ve been truthfully, openly, honestly and solution-based about mental illness.”
The documentary “Get Back Up” captures Furstenfeld’s evolving approach to mental illness and addiction. It was filmed over six years and chronicles how depression, bipolar disorder, drugs and alcohol almost destroyed Blue October and Furstenfeld himself. It blends archival footage — including scenes from his time studying theater at High School for the Performing and Visual Arts — Furstenfeld’s own words and emotional interviews with bandmates and family.
Chaos and panic
Brothers Justin and Jeremy Furstenfeld formed Blue October in Houston in the mid-’90s. Their first album, “The Answers,” was recorded at Sound Arts Studio and released in 1998. After a steady build outside Texas, the 2006 single “Hate Me” exploded at rock radio, ushering in a wave of talk-show appearances and globe-crossing concerts. At the same time, Justin Furstenfeld was in a tailspin of addiction and
anxiety.
“I could see chaos. I could see panic. I could see despair. I could see just a very unhappy boy,” Furstenfeld’s mother says at one point in the film.
“Get Back Up” will premiere May 21 with multiple online screenings, hosted by Furstenfeld, at getbackup.tv. It will also be available for sale. Furstenfeld, who calls himself “a very controlling person, artistically,” took a back seat to the filmmakers and didn’t see the final product until it was complete. That meant offering no notes, no edits, no suggestions across several years of footage.
“I remember a long time ago I watched a documentary on Sting. I thought, ‘This is so cool.’ Then at the end, it said, ‘Directed and written by Sting.’ I was like, ‘Oh, wait. Hold on. Now I know why he looked so cool in every shot,’ ” Furstenfeld says. “I wanted to make sure that it wasn’t about how cool we thought we were or how awesome it is to be in a band.”
Indeed, “Get Back Up” reveals several harrowing stories. The song “Black Orchid,” from Blue October’s first album, terrified Furstenfeld’s parents. He worked at a mental hospital in San Marcos and became a patient after talking to a psychiatrist. He blames his wife Sarah’s miscarriage on his drug use.
Seeing the finished film was “extremely difficult,” Furstenfeld says, because he was unaware of several of the most traumatic stories. His brother Jeremy compares their bond during the addiction to an abusive relationship and says it pushed him to go to therapy.
“After I watched it, I took him to lunch and really tried to make my amends with him,” Furstenfeld says. “That was hard, to watch my brother go through that and my mom and my wife and (bassist) Matt Noveskey, who had a son with Downsyndrome right in the middle of it all. Here I am thinking, ‘Poor me, poor me’ and all these other lives are happening.”
Happy endings
Furstenfeld’s own life today is the film’s happy ending. He celebrated eight years of sobriety on Mother’s Day. He regularly engages with fans through online concerts. His band’s 10th album, “This Is What I Live For,” is due Sept. 18 and will be preceded by monthly singles leading up to the release.
“I’ve always wanted to make my Cure ‘Disintegration’ album, and this would be it,” Furstenfeld says. “It’s nice, it’s mellow, it’s sad. It’s slow, it’s romantic, it’s nostalgic. But it just rocks so damn hard.”
And a documentary he once referred to as an “insurance policy” ultimately became a defining moment.
“Originally, it was, ‘Put some cameras on me so I don’t drink and I don’t do drugs on the road. I’m not gonna fail when people are watching.’ It just turned into something bigger than that,” he says. “You don’t have to take things so seriously. Everything’s gonna be cool. Every day has been like that for the last eight years.”