Thumbs up, down
Houston may be rude, but it has a drive-thru strip club. Coughing on a singer is rude, too.
Never underestimate the entrepreneurial spirit of a city built on a swamp. If we can dig a ship channel to bring business, why not erect a “strip channel” to bring business back? That’s what Vivid Gentlemen’s Club did. When faced with state pandemic rules that limit indoor operations of sexually oriented businesses, the club set up a sensual, social distancing drive-thru. Now patrons can enjoy burgers and pizza with a side of adult entertainment. How’s that for instant gratification? As reported by Chron.com, the exotic dancers ply their trade behind face masks and metal barricades, with tip buckets within easy reach for drivers. It’s just like the real thing except the closest you get to a lap dance is a snugly fitting lap belt. There’s a two-song limit, which keeps the line moving, and the revenue flowing. Creative problemsolving to make a Puritan blush but Houstonians proud. Our hats are off — but only our hats.
What a crazy world this is. Dancing disrobed at a distance is safer than being fully clothed up close. Texas singersongwriter Clayton Gardner was performing at an outdoor show in Irving when a woman — wearing no mask and ignoring social distancing — walked up to request a Lee Ann Womack song. We’re pretty sure it was going to be “I Hope You Dance” and not the more appropriate “The Fool,” but she was cut short by Gardner, who politely asked her to stand back. The musical encounter escalated when the rogue concertgoer responded by coughing on Gardner. The video went viral, prompting loud outrage on social media. The woman is now singing a different tune and has apologized for her off-key antics.
If being threatened with exposure to a deadly virus happened in Irving, who knows what touring musicians can expect if they come to Houston. At least if you believe a report by website Alot Travel, which ranked us as the rudest city in Texas. We’d tell the travel site where it can stick its list but that would just prove its point. We can think of at least a couple of other cities that belong at the top, though, but is it rude to point a cold soulless finger at Dallas? The website didn’t give a real reason for picking Houston, except for citing our “millions of people crammed into one hot, humid place” who are forced into cars to escape the weather but then unable to get anywhere fast because the traffic is so bad. Yes, it’s true. But you shouldn’t judge a city by its cover — even if it is concrete and 160 degrees.
People who churn out those silly rankings must be dying of boredom — its own pandemic these days. Take U.S. Rep. Louie Gohmert (please). On Thursday he introduced a resolution to ban “any political organization or party that has ever held a public position supportive of slavery or the Confederate States of America.” You can guess where this is going, but Gohmert underlined it for you, calling on the Democratic Party to change its name over its “loathsome and bigoted past.” Quibbles aside about the loathsome and bigoted present being more prominent in the Party of Lincoln, Gohmert’s petty political posturing in the face of real challenges to America may yet lead to a name change for the parties come November. How does the winners and the losers sound?