Adopting a more positive mindset.
This is a challenging moment. The way we see each other, the way we work — even the way we grocery shop — has been shaken up.
The pandemic hasn’t only threatened obvious aspects of our lives, it’s had an uncanny way of bringing other problems to light, too.
Frustration, resentment and helplessness are common threads. If you feel that gloomy things often happen to you, you’re not alone. Success coach Albina Rippy has a few tips that may help.
Rippy and her husband, Roger, started YogaOne, a small one-room yoga studio in Midtown, in 2008 and grew to seven locations before selling to YogaWorks in 2017. Now, Rippy leads yoga training virtually and at beautiful international destinations; runs a coaching business; and operates their retreat center in Taos, N.M. She’s a mom, too.
But none of this came without obstacles and doubt. Rippy grew up in the Soviet Union, amid its collapse. “As a child, I waited in bread lines,” she said in an interview with Voyage Houston. “I witnessed how my family’s savings became worthless because the government changed its currency, literally, overnight. I witnessed fear, desperation and hopelessness firsthand.”
At 16 years old, Rippy left Kazakhstan, alone, barely speaking English, to go to school in the U.S.
She knows a thing or two about handling a challenge.
She says when seemingly unfixable circumstances yield chronic blues, it’s important to take a deeper look. The root of the problem isn’t typically what it seems.
“We blame the economy, the pandemic, our soul-crushing jobs, a mean boss, all men, all women, our upbringing, and so on, for our lack of happiness and wealth,” she says.
To Rippy, this kind of fingerpointing uses a lot of energy and ultimately leaves us tired, bitter and blind to opportunities for better outcomes. A wiser approach is to turn a gentle gaze within.
Say, for example, you hate your boss and blame this person for why you didn’t get a promotion. It’s an understandable situation, but according to Rippy, dwelling on the other person represents a victim’s mindset. When we see the world from this perspective, we cement a limited view that lacks self-awareness and is incompatible with growth and possibilities.
“You cannot even consider that your boss might sense your resentment and dislike, or that your mindset is causing you to have a negative attitude at work, or that on a subconscious level you are sabotaging (your own cause),” Rippy says.
She adds: “The moment you see this clearly, you get access to choice. You can choose to forgive your boss and yourself and let go of your grudge and resentment. You can genuinely choose positivity and love. Your choice alone will elevate your inner vibration and influence the way you see the world.
“Perhaps, you will start seeing that your boss is actually trying to connect with you. Or that your boss’s own challenges (a sick child or parent, difficulties in their marriage, their financial struggles, etc.) influence their inner state and that it has never been about you.”
Rippy says when we take responsibility for our experiences, we uncover “a magnitude of possibilities, opportunities and choices right under our noses.”
Maybe softening your view of your boss paves the way for a surprising bond that leads to an even better opportunity. Maybe when you’re less consumed by this person’s shortcomings, your creativity surges and you take on new and deeply fulfilling projects, or start a kick butt side hustle. Maybe you just realize a vacation would serve you well. The possibilities are vast.
But here’s an important qualifier: Shame is not a part of the game.
Rippy urges us not to start presuming everything imperfect is our fault. On the other hand, she says this about shifting into a next-level mindset where instead of challenges being cause for blame on anyone, they’re invitations to dig deep and find new potential.
“Through challenges and trials, you grow and expand, you become strong, unstoppable, unshakable, unbreakable. … This perspective gives you access to choice, power, innovation, resilience, love.”
Here are a few of other strategies she suggests for moving through ups and downs:
Forgiveness
“When we dwell in the victim mindset, we are filled with resentment, grudges and blame. This is a heavy burden to carry. Furthermore, these difficult emotions take up too much of our energetic bandwidth, blocking the flow of goodness in our lives. If you want to create the life you yearn for … you must let go of your resentments and free yourself. I teach … an ancient Hawaiian prayer called Ho’Oponopono (where you repeat the phrases): “I love you. I am sorry. Please forgive me. Thank you.”
Declarations
Her favorite: “Every day and in every way, I am strong, healthy, young, beautiful, charismatic, creative, resilient, kind, loving, generous, compassionate, infinitely loved, abundantly blessed and divinely guided.”
“I say this over and over again, as I run or work out, using all of my physiology and lots of passion,” she says.
Focus on what you want
“We all are very clear on what we don’t want. ‘I don’t want to get sick’ or ‘I don’t want to lose my job’ or ‘I don’t want to end up alone.’ We have a much more challenging time identifying what we truly want. When we consciously direct our minds to focus on what we do want, our brains start filtering … bringing to our attention situations, people, opportunities that will get us to where we want to go.”
To Rippy, looking within and doing this work is a pathway out of the pits and to much brighter pastures.
Marci Izard Sharif is an author, yoga teacher, meditation facilitator and mother. In Feeling Matters, she writes about self-love, sharing self-care tools, stories and resources that center around knowing and being kind to yourself.