It’s hard to hit somebody when you’re sleepwalking
James Brown’s “I Got You” blared on the speakers as if there were a party going on.
“I feel good. I knew that I would, now.”
What with the current climate, I half expected to hear “Say It Loud, I’m Black And I’m Proud,” but Sunday was Liberty White day. A day the Texans pretty much chose to surrender before the fight even started.
With nary a live fan in the stands and the Texans down by two touchdowns,
there weren’t many good feelings in NRG Stadium at the time the DJ started rocking the Godfather of Soul.
Then again, the cheerleaders on the big screen from cameras at their homes seemed to be enjoying the made field goal that pulled the Texans within two touchdowns in the fourth quarter. Yippee!
For the second consecutive week, the Texans had little cause for celebration as they failed to show up and never got within shouting distance — nowhere near even acceptable social distancing shouting distance — of a victory.
However, there was shouting from the Texans early in their 33-16 loss to the Ravens.
“Wake Up!” was the refrain a microphone picked up from Houston’s bench as players attempted to jostle teammates who apparently decided a mid-afternoon, mid-game nap was in order.
OK, the game didn’t start until 3:25 p.m., and we all know how hard it is to get started so late in the day.
The same thing happened to Bill O’Brien’s team in its season opener against the Chiefs, a night game.
Kansas City and Baltimore had better teams than the Texans last season. And they begin this season with better squads.
That has little to do with the Texans not coming out with a sense of urgency or playing as if they believed they could pull off a win.
Many NFL teams have figured out how to play with that fire despite the lack of energy in stadiums. Not the Texans.
The Texans scored a combined 17 points in the first three quarters in losses to the Chiefs and Ravens. Six quarters, seventeen points.
Those poor starts led to methodical beatdowns by the Chiefs and Ravens and have the Texans sitting at 0-2 for the second time in three years.
Good thing there is a lot of football left. And that at least 12 of the final 14 games start at noon, with Thanksgiving brunch in Detroit slated for 30 minutes earlier.
That’s nice, like sugar and spice, for the not ready for prime-time Texans, who obviously aren’t built for late starts against good teams.
What are they built for? Their offense got pushed around up front. Quarterback Deshaun Watson was sacked four times and hit 13 others, and the Texans managed only 51 rushing yards.
The Ravens posted 153 rushing yards in the fourth quarter alone.
“Football’s a game of inches, and in the fourth quarter we gave up too many of them,” defensive tackle Brandon Dunn said.
Inches? According to ESPN, in the fourth quarter Ravens runners averaged 223.2 inches (6.2 yards) per carry before a Texan even put a finger on them.
“It’s not necessarily one guy,” Dunn continued. “It’s 11 guys. It takes a village.”
The village got run over. (Note to self: As tempting as it might be, please refrain from making a village idiot joke about the head coach here. This is only Week 2. You might need it later in the season.)
J.J. Watt looked to be in midseason form. He had two sacks of hard-to-catch Lamar Jackson, but the Ravens were still able to do what they wanted for the most part.
It is indefensible to treat regular-season NFL games as if they are mid-training camp scrimmages, but that is what the Texans look like they are doing. Apparently, the lack of a preseason had more of an effect than O’Brien expected.
He certainly didn’t prepare his team for a full-speed game.
There is an old saying that you should practice like you play because you will play like you practice.
The Texans did not do any live hitting in training camp. Likewise, they haven’t done any live hitting in their two losses.
The Chiefs and Ravens have combined to rush for 396 yards on a whopping 5.6 yards a carry. Only once in team history have the Texans allowed more on the ground in their first two games.
In an indicator of just how soft new defensive coordinator Anthony Weaver’s unit is, not only have the Texans not registered a turnover, they have yet to force a fumble.
Football is a violent sport. The Texans have taken their non-violent protest too far.
Having already missed the start of the season by sleepwalking through two games, they need to wake up and hit somebody.