Parents learn from each other as kids learn from home
13 tips help families do their best work while navigating a pandemic
Even with the whole summer to think about it, many parents still felt like they were taking a big plunge as they sent their children back to school virtually this month.
Spring was a scramble to gather textbooks and school laptops and to learn how to use them. This fall, instead of buying school uniforms or worrying about bus schedules, parents spent time getting dry erase boards, supply carts and desks and figuring out where everyone — siblings in different grades and parents with their own jobs — would work.
Yesely Love and her friends worked out a schedule with rotating duties — they each take the group of six kids for a week at a time — in West University Place. Friends Stacey Lafitte and Valerie Browning have six kids in three grade levels between them, and all of them learn together at the Lafittes’ home, where the two families have hired a recent college grad to proctor the crowd.
Catherine Couturier, Amanda Sorena and Sheena and Sajan Abraham all are using the new learn-from-home world to teach their kids responsibility.
Together, these parents have plenty of ideas to help others:
1. Go easy. First and foremost, cut yourself some slack. If you and your kids are having a bad day, you’re likely not the only family having a bad day. And, you get to start fresh tomorrow.
2. Seize the moment. Use this situation as an opportunity for your children to learn responsibility. Once younger kids learn how to log into their classrooms, set an alarm so they stay on schedule themselves — without your constant prodding. Older students will likely enjoy not having parents constantly checking in on them. Teach them all how to use alarm clocks or stopwatches, it’s a simple skill they’ll actually use in life.
“We got Charlotte a cheap clock on amazon.com and told her that it is her job to do well in school,” said Couturier, who lives in Meyerland and owns the Catherine Couturier Gallery.
Couturier said that she and her husband both work, so they needed their kids — Charlotte, who’s in first grade at Kolter Elementary, and Andre, who’s in ninth grade at Bellaire High School, to stay on schedule themselves.
“We are not helicopter parents,” Couturier said of herself and husband Arnaud Couturier. “For our high schooler, if he can’t manage his online schoolwork, how will he manage the rest of high school and college? When grades come out, maybe I will regret this decision,” she said with a nervous laugh.
Stacey and Marc Lafitte give their kids chores to do, helping load and unload the dishwasher or sweeping the floor daily.
3. Work stations. Choose a primary spot for your kids to have as their work stations. Whether it’s a desk in their own room, or space carved out of a little-used dining room, having a spot where each kid “goes to school” will contribute to the structure of their school day and give them a place to put their books and schoolwork.
The Abrahams tried to buy desks for their two kids to use, but ultimately they couldn’t get delivered. Sajan, a property analyst at Shearman and Sterling, enjoys woodworking, so he bought lumber and made desks for them. Since Ezra, a first grader, and Layla, a third grader in Fort Bend ISD, got to help paint them, it gave them a sense of pride and ownership.
4. Make school supplies portable. Most kids don’t want to sit in the same chair all day long. They might start there, but shift to a sofa or bean bag chair to read.
If you keep school supplies in a caddy on wheels or in a portable tub, kids can take them with them wherever they go. They don’t have to be costly; Couturier bought inexpensive caddies at Target for $3 each.
5. Structure minimizes anxiety. Shavara Lyons’ two kids — kindergartner Kasyn Lyons and second grader Kaven Lyons, both students at the Mandarin Immersion Magnet School — may not always understand what’s being said when her kids take a quiz in Chinese, but she’s trying.
Her kids have structure, with desks they like in their own rooms and schedules they understand. Love also recommends that parents keep a list of their kids’ usernames and passwords, since there are so many apps and portals the kids sign into each day.
6. Recharge nightly. It may seem like something that doesn’t need a reminder, but plug in all of your electronic devices at night so they’ll be fully charged when you start again each morning, suggests Shavara Lyons.
7. Headphones are a must. Each child should have his or her own set of headphones, so noise from different computers won’t compete with each other.
8. Work together. If you can, pair up with other parents to take turns keeping kids on track. Love and a handful of other moms keep their kids in “pods” — taking turns managing the schoolwork of six kids. When it’s their turn, they’ve got six kids in their house at the same time, but when they don’t, they can do their own work, run errands or just take a deep breath.
Their system is a little complicated and involves a fair amount of driving the kids around, but Love — founder of Canaima Design firm — is happy that it works for her kids, second grader Caroline and first grader Justin.
Sorena said she started idea threads on social media to crowdsource more tips from other parents and got great ideas for using iPads and Chromebook laptops.
9. Hire help. There’s nothing wrong with finding someone to help you. In fact, it helps you get your own work done while knowing that someone you trust is handling things at home.
Stacey and Marc Lafitte and Valerie Browning all needed to leave home for their jobs, so they hired a recent Rice University graduate who needed work while she waited for her new job to start. The Lafittes have two pairs of twins, fourth graders Riley and Payton Lafitte and ninth graders Alyson and Taylor Lafitte, while Browning has a fourth grader and seventh grader, Taylor and Claire Browning. All of the kids go to schools in West University Place.
“Last spring, we all were in our separate homes, and even though we have multiple kids, there was no community feel to it. Our kids were isolated, and it was just them and their computer,” said Stacey Lafitte, who practices family law. “We thought, if we were going to do this again, we wanted a sense of community. ‘We are going to school’ — not just ‘we are going to the living room.’ ”
10. Make breaks count. When it’s time for “recess” or at the end of the day when school is out, let your kids go outdoors, even if it’s to just kick around a soccer ball in the front yard or jump on the trampoline in the backyard.
“When I get home at the end of the day, the kids can’t wait to tell me about … how much fun they’re having. That, to me, is huge,” Lafitte said. “The kids are at the computer all day, but they get 15 minutes here and 20 minutes there, and it’s ‘woo-hoo, let’s go to the backyard.’ You see them come to life.”
Sheena Abraham said that playtime offsets the work of school to ensure good mental health.
11. Tech assistance. Nearly all of the parents used Alexa or some sort of electronic alert system to let them know when it’s time for a new class to start. Amanda Sorena, whose three kids attend Kolter Elementary in Meyerland, said that other simple things help in big ways.
One is getting stands that hold iPads upright and better headsets with Bluetooth for comfort. Sorena also got blue light glasses for her kids after her older daughter, 10-year-old Sophia, experienced headaches from eye strain.
12. Reward good work. Everyone likes a prize for doing a good job, even if it’s just having a favorite snack or playing with a favorite toy, reminds Love.
13. Appreciate others. Especially teachers and school administrators.
“When I look at people I know who are complaining, I think, ‘You have everything. You have no food insecurity or health problems; you don’t worry about the lights being turned off,’ ” Couturier said. “They get one little bump in the road, and they’re devastated. I’m like, ‘Get out of your really fantastic bubble. We have it so good.’ ”