CHEESEBURGER PARADISE
Our critic shares her favorites from across the city
Maybe it’s because I grew up in a dairy state, but I am never happier than when a melty cheese layer clings to the top of my ground beef patty or cascades down its perimeter in a shiny, opulent ooze. Pasture-grazed on pasture-raised, the burger’s crown of glory.
It can be a sticky slice of nursery-food American, its square corners collapsing. Or the sharper tang of cheddar; the pungent thrills of veiny blue; the mild elasticity of Oaxacan; the laid-back nuttiness of Swiss. A liquid sploosh of queso works, too, because this is Houston and that’s how we roll.
So here is a guide to my favorite Houston cheeseburgers: the ones that I long for, the ones that I dream about, the ones that can lure me out to my car, keys in hand, to travel around the corner or way across town on my everlasting quest.
Some are big. Some are small. Some are cheffy; some are devoid of airs. Some cost rather a lot, and others
don’t.
I omitted a few that are dear to my heart. Burger Chan, one of my best-loved budget burgers, has closed its Greenway Plaza food court kiosk because of the pandemic, but my fingers are crossed for its brick-and-mortar opening at 5353 W. Alabama in the spring.
Two splendid cheeseburgers I crave are offered only one day a week: on Thursdays at Henderson & Kane, where 44 Farms beef rules; and on Fridays at Rainbow Lodge, where chef Mark Schmit grinds a new patty each week from his game trimmings — sometimes (be still my heart) with spicy pimento cheese on top.
Go seek these cheeseburgers out. I hope you enjoy every last one.
Cantina Barba (Heights/Near Northside)
The cheeseburger at this late-night Heights taqueria is a paragon of no-fuss affordability. Six bucks (plus 50 cents for the grilled onions I like to add) buys a 4-ounce beef patty, a melty splash of American cheese, two hot-andsweet house pickle slices and pinkish “burger sauce.” Wrapped in tissue, it’s my favorite everyday cheeseburger. Bonus: a great margarita.
La Lucha (Heights)
The double-patty, double-cheese Pharmacy Burger at Ford Fry’s Heights restaurant is a crusty, well-proportioned marvel with a nostalgic Texas flavor profile. A bite of mustard, a nip of chopped onion and two gleamy flaps of American cheese back up thin patties that splash forth gouts of beef juice. At $12.95, it’s gloriously messy.
Just GRK (Memorial)
Oh, how the primal meat juices flow from the Greek Burger at this accomplished grill. Chef Chris Nikolas gives a lively seasoning to his tall beef patty and tucks it into a shiny toasted bun with ripe tomato, salty Greek white cheese and a schmear of glossy, assertive garlic sauce. And the french fries, included in the $13.95 price, simply kill.
Tejas Burger Joint (Tomball)
The Smokehouse Burger at this venture from the Tejas BBQ geniuses is destinationquality stuff. A carefully smoked Angus patty joins smoked cheddar cheese for an outdoorsy punch, and a crackly black-pepper-and-salt barbecue-style rub adds textural pop. Crisscrossed bacon slices, green onion aioli and caramelized onion on a toasty potato bun add to the joy — as do the classic Blue Bell shakes.
Becks Prime (various locations)
Make mine the Bill’s Burger, its combo of pickled jalapeños, cheddar, bacon and grilled onions a Texas-style taste of home at this Houston mini-chain. The Angus patties ground in-house and grilled over mesquite are key to the appeal here, so the whopping $12 Bill’s flaunts a smoky sear and meat juices for days. Don’t miss the shakes.
BB Lemon (Old Sixth Ward)
A half pound of 80/20 lean-to-fat Wagyu blend makes this pared-to-the essence cheeseburger shine. It’s modeled on the 1970s tavern burgers at New York’s JG Melon, its tall, juicy patty tucked inside an aggressively double-seared bun draped in melted cheddar. That’s it. Add-yourown accompaniments come on the side. Yes, you want the skinny little onion strings.
Cherry Block at Bravery Chef Hall (downtown)
A double-double cheeseburger with a difference: Chef Jess Timmons adds both American and her own mac-and-cheese sauce to alternate 3-ounce patties of hard-seared beef. And what beef: a daily grind of the restaurant’s own local 44 Farms rib-eye and tenderloin steak trimmings plus a bit of chuck. A stealth splash of pork demi-glace outlines the soaring flavor; $14 with beef-tallow french fries thrown in.
FM Kitchen & Bar (Rice Military)
Another everyday fave at $6.30, this 4-ounce cheeseburger makes a photogenic (and greattasting) stack with melty American, tomato, red onion and frills of leaf lettuce. It’s the perfect size if you don’t want a giant burger.
Flip n’ Patties (Energy Corridor & downtown)
The madcap burgers at these Filipino spots rock hard. Part of the magic is their towering Akaushi beef patties of American-raised Wagyu. Part’s their springy reverse-toasted buns, based on the steamed Filipino bread, siopao. But the big fun is their freestyling combos, such as the $10.49 Jaboi cheeseburger in which house-roasted pickled jalapeños and onions swim in a melty provolone sea. Do add the $3.39 french fries with banana-ketchup aioli.
Buffalo Bayou Brewing Co. (Sawyer Yards)
Our great local 44 Farms beef (thank you, ranch wrangler Felix Florez) strikes again in this snazzy brewery’s Black n’ Blue Burger. A pile of voluptuous Texas blue cheese, a profusion of onions caramelized in Buff Brews’ own 1836 Copper Ale and Slow Dough Butterflake bun clock in at $13, which includes hand-cut fries. A dizzying tap wall aids and abets.
Taqueria Guadalajara (East End)
Another everyday cheeseburger, priced at $7.95 for a half-pounder with excellent hand-cut fries, served in a chipper tangerine-andmarigold diner. Everything from the griddletoasted, sesame-seeded bun to the cheddar cheese to the juicy patty hits right, and the table salsa add-ons do, too. The funky fries are great. And there’s a Mexican-style cheeseburger with ham, avocado and Monterey Jack if you’re in a local mood.
Burns Burger Shack (Acres Homes)
The bucolic setting matches the sprawly, old-school charms of the cheeseburgers at this family-run walk-up burger stand, right next to the famed Burns BBQ. The burgers are hefty and well done in the style of Houston’s historic Black neighborhoods, and the local 44 Farms beef patties, zestily seasoned, give them an edge. Kudos to the immaculate vanillabean shake, the freshcut fries and the dining deck with an easygoing neighborhood scene.
Alfred’s Burger House (Eastwood / Near East End)
Alfredo Lopez’s modern malt shop does a stately blue-cheeseand-bacon burger — with hand-spun Blue Bell shakes and fine, bargain fresh-cut fries ($1.49!) to go along. Grilled on a flattop, the hand-formed 7-ounce patties mesh chuck, round and brisket for a clear, understated beef flavor. The aged blue cheese has a salty-tart, funky kick, and the $7.99 price is right.
Bludorn (Fourth Ward/Buffalo Terrace)
There is a big-deal new cheeseburger in town at chef Aaron Bludorn’s ambitious restaurant. Yeah, the burger he refined at Cafe Boulud in New York costs $19, and the fabulous poufy potato wedges with letter-perfect aioli run $6 extra. But the deep, rich tang of the dry-aged beef grind blew my mind, and details from the onion jam to the oomphy Dijon mustard to the gripping Grafton cheddar cheese make it worth a splurge.
La Grande Rue/ Savoir (Heights)
A wine bar was not where I expected to find a really good cheeseburger. But enter the cheddar or Brie variants at this Heights newcomer and its attached sibling restaurant. Toasted brioche bun, snappy Dijon, roasted cherry tomatoes, sliced cornichons and garlicky aioli all make this cheeseburger dance. The beautifully seared beef patty tastes lush and pure. Alas, the $12 bar price of yore is now $18 at Savoir, including curly fries.
Louie’s/Riel (Montrose)
Oh, those little Butter Burgers that Riel used to serve only on Tuesdays! Now Louie’s, Riel’s online sandwich pop-up, offers them every day. This Wisconsinite, slidersized burger by Manitoban-born chef Ryan Lachaine wheedled its way into my heart with its pat of butter, onions caramelized in beef stock and sticky American cheese — all atop a little smashed beef patty seasoned with retrograde garlic and onion powders. Dizzyingly rich and suave.
Pop Top Burgers (Webster)
There’s a homey quality to the loosely packed, irregular, neverfrozen beef patty on this Bay Area burger joint’s Chopped Jalapeño Burger, a mighty specimen that clocks in at a reasonable $6.98. The mesh of shredded cheddar that makes it a cheeseburger folds in lots of chopped pickled jalapeño grilled on the flattop with onions, plus a few jots of picante sauce. It’s wild and juicy and slip-slidey stuff.
Squable (Upper Shepherd)
The so-called French Cheeseburger at this chef-driven, Heights restaurant features cascades of nutty alpine raclette cheese and the chopped cornichon pickles that traditionally go with it. It’s magnetic — hell, majestic — and the $18-with-fries tab falls to half that after 9 p.m. at the bar, one of the city’s best deals.