Physically Distant but Socially Connected: The Key to Navigating Holidays During COVID-19

Mental health experts are always onhighalert during the holidays. In a normal year, the holidays tend to magnify the stressors of everyday life. But this year, family, financial and travel concerns have become super stressers duringCOVID-19. On topof worrying about having to see family wemay not necessarily get along withorbeing able to affordgifts, we nowhave toworry about the safetyof our familymembers, juggle back and forthbetweenthe prudenceof travel duringapandemic, andstrugglewith the loss of jobs causedby thishealth emergency. As if thatwasn’t enough stress, there are over 230,000 familieswhowill spend this holiday season grieving the loss of loved ones due toCOVID-19. All of these factors are leading towhat could be a severe mental health crisis.

“We’ve seen a 30% rise in patients coming to theERformental health issuesduringCOVID,” says Dr. Asim Shah, chief of Psychiatry at Harris Health System’s Ben Taub Hospital. “Anxiety, depression, substance abuse; diseases of despair amplified by social isolation.”

Dr. Shah, also chief of Division of Community Psychiatry and professor at Baylor College ofMedicine, says this situation could getworse during the holiday season, as those stresses combine with COVID-19 stress. However, he and othermental health experts have a solution: get people back together in a safeway.

“People need socialization,” says Dr. Shah. “We are social animals.”

A leading problemcausingmental stress, notes Dr. Shah, is a phenomenon called touch starvation. Touch starvation occurswhenwe are denied human contact. First coined by correctional officers based on observationsmade of inmates in solitary confinement, touch starvation hasmultiple damaging effects such as lowering the immune systemand increased levels of depression and anxiety. Research shows human touch canhelprelieve stress levels by building human connection, but those in isolation lack this option. Touching releases oxytocin, which helps reduce stress andimprove immunity.

Ironically, the messaging surrounding the safetymeasuresput inplace during the pandemicmay be partly to blame for this increase in touch starvation. While thesemeasures have kept us safer, we are increasinglymore socially isolatedwhich may be affecting ourmentalhealth. The answer is not to ignore safety measures, says Dr. Shah. Instead, he believeswe can talk about the safety measures in away that facilitates their effectivenesswhile allowing for more necessary human connection. For example, he cites the term“social distancing.”

“Social distancing is poor terminology,” saysDr. Shah. “For it isnot that we wantpeople tobe socially disconnected. Rather, wewant to encourage people tobe socially connectedwhile being physically distanced.”

He’s not talking aboutmeeting up onZoom. While Zoomhelps, Dr. Shah believes humans still need safe in-person interaction. Thismeans wearingamask, avoiding touching M.E.N(mouth, eyes, andnose), and keeping a safe, physical distance from other peoplewhile engagingwith themsocially in a safe environment. Doing so, says Dr. Shah, allows for us to remain safewhile getting that vital human contact most of us so desperately need.

With potential holiday gatherings just around the corner, it’s important tonote exactlywhat a “safe environment” is andwhat health recommendationswe can incorporate into our holiday traditions to keepus all as healthy and joyful as possible.

Dr. Shah outlines three groups each person or family should adopt and adhere to this holiday season: Safest Group, Safer Group, and Unknown Group.

Safest Group

This group, says Dr. Shah, is your immediate nuclear family or the peoplewithwhomyou live. In this group, mask-wearing is not required, and human touch is possible and you know the health status of each family member. Holiday celebrations can continue as close to normal on a limited scale as long as those attending are strictly part of your Safest Group.

Safer Group

According to Dr. Shah, everyone needs a SaferGroup. This is a group made up of very close friends, extended family, and nearest neighbors. Additionally, this group caninclude other limited familieswhose children play together. Ideally, this is a 10-20 person group atmaximum.

“The Safer Group is perhaps the most important group to help people stay connected and avoid the added stress of isolation this holiday season,” he says.

The SaferGroup iswherewe can practice physical distancingwhile remaining socially connected. Masks are still recommended, as is meeting asmuch as possible outsidewhere the risk of transmission is far less. Yet with your SaferGroup, small amounts of physical contact can occur, such as the elbowbump while outside andwearingamask. These small amounts of physical contact can go a longway towardreducing themental stress of theholidays, but the real advantage, says Dr. Shah, is being present and interactingwith other humans.“The pandemic is ongoing. Becausewe don’t know when itwill end, we need to be part of some Safer Group in order to keep socially connectedwhile continuing to be physically distant,” he explains. “This Safer Group provides uswith much-needed social support andstability ina timewhenmany of us can be at ourmost lonely or isolated.”

Unknown Group

The Unknown Group includes everyone anywherewho isn’t part of your Safest or Safer Group. A supermarket or outdoors at a public park are examples of where youmight encounter an Unknown Group. Here, says Dr. Shah, wemust be vigilant. Always correctlywearamask so that it covers both your nose and your mouth, avoid all physical contact and stay physically distanced. He recommends keeping a bottle of hand sanitizer on you at all timeswhen you think you’ll encounter Unknown Groups and also encourages frequent washing of clothmasks or theuse of medical-grademasks in these situations.

Does thismean youcan’t sayhello to someone in an Unknown Group? Of course not! Does thismean you can never invite someone from your Safer Group into your home? No, as long as you recognize outside is far safer.

“We need to be optimistic ifwe’re going to get through this,” he encourages. “For thosewhomaynot have family tobe around this time of year, we need to create our own families as part of a Safer Group. We’re all in this together andwe need tohelp each other.”

If youor someone youlove are experiencing adverse stress, depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts, please contact a mental health professional or call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 800-273-8255. There is hope. We can help one another get through it.