Facebook proves it’s despicably toxic — so why can’t I quit?
When I watched Facebook whistleblower Frances Haugen’s appearance on “60 Minutes” earlier this month, and then saw her subsequent appearance before a congressional subcommittee, I figured that the social network giant’s days as an unregulated behemoth were numbered.
While Facebook has survived one scandal after another, this felt different. Not only was Haugen a former product manager whose experience drove her to call out the company’s practice of putting profits over user safety, but her accusations showed how harmful content was directed on Facebook-owned Instagram at teen girls. It seemed an outrage that could not be withstood.
But since then, while there continues to be discussion about the kind of regulation Facebook and its ilk should face in the wake of undeniable evidence of social media’s toxicity, its users shrug, for the most part.
Indeed, the majority of people with an internet connection in the United States are Facebook users — 69 percent, according to a 2021 Pew Research Center survey. Globally, the number is even higher. An eMarketer survey showed almost 81 percent of internet users were on Facebook in 2020.
Now, let me say this up front: I do not like Facebook; I never have. When I was writing about the rise of social networks in the mid- to late-2000s, and even when I was the Chronicle’s first social media manager in the mid-2010s, I looked forward to the day when I wasn’t required to use Facebook professionally and could nuke my account for good.
But a funny thing happened
when I was in the position to leave Facebook. Despite a growing distaste for the way co-founder and CEO Mark Zuckerberg and his leadership circle run Facebook; despite a thousand privacy abuses and study after study showing the network is bad for users’ mental health and for American democracy; despite being the conduit for wave after wave of disinformation that cripples pandemic public health efforts; despite a business model that thrives on making people angry and pitting against one another … I’ve stuck around.
In January, I left the Chronicle, and two weeks later I signed on for what would be a seven-month stint with Forbes. When that ended, and I decided I didn’t wanted to be a full-time employee, I no longer needed Facebook to promote my work. I thought long and hard about deleting my account.
And then I did not. Because while all the awful things about Facebook are true, it still has an intimate, emotional utility for me and others. The company’s PR machine has always touted Facebook’s goal as fostering connections between people, and that is certainly true. It does this in ways that are both remarkable and mundane, and really, it’s the latter that is the more potent glue.
My departure from the Chronicle meant I no longer saw my co-workers each day (though since the COVID-19 pandemic began in March 2020, I’d seen a lot less of them already). Facebook and Twitter kept those connections going, just as they also kept me in touch with all the departed colleagues and friends I’d made in my 30-plus years at the paper.
And then there are people I’ve encountered on Facebook, Twitter and Instagram whom I now consider friends, even though I have never met some of them in person. Skeptics scoff at the notion that social media bonds are not as strong as those forged in real life, but I can tell you from experience that they are wrong.
In the wake of Haugen’s revelations, I asked on both Facebook and Twitter whether my followers and friends were considering canceling Facebook. While many said they wished they could, nearly all said they found more value than harm in using it. But all expressed disdain for Facebook as it is now. A sampling:
Becky Evers Jones: “I have thought about deleting my account many times. I have kept it because I can easily maintain connections with work friends, family, and folks that live far away. I loathe the ads and the ‘suggestions’ for content in my feed. I would pay to be free of that!”
Cay Dickson: “I am seriously considering walking away from it. It is useful to stay in touch or reconnect with friends/ relatives, but also for when I coordinate our high school reunions. I hate the raging anger that I’ve felt during the last few years.”
Lynn Smith: “I am here to keep connected with people. There are probably people I would never know anything about if it weren’t for Facebook. I like I can see what they’re up to (and vice-versa), but I don’t have their addresses or even phone numbers (and probably wouldn’t call or go visit if I did, and same for them with me).”
Perhaps the most honest comment about using Facebook to maintain social connections came from Alicia G. Kumar: “I use it to keep up with friends and family as I am horrible at keeping up with people outside of (social media). This way, I don’t have to talk to them, but I still feel a part of their lives.”
And one Houstonian, Michael Coppens, challenged the notion that Facebook’s sins and transgressions can be overlooked in the name of professional endeavors: “One question I would like to see discussed from various professionals, particularly in marketing and journalism, is how they can continue to use a platform with such destructive tendencies? It’s almost like forcing people to smoke cigarettes to engage with your product.”
Indeed. Now that I’m back writing a weekly column for the Chronicle, I’ll continue to use Facebook as a way to share and promote my work. But like so many others under its sway, I won’t feel particularly good about it.