Breaking the Silence on Youth Suicide: One Family’s Hopeful Story
Suicide among young people has long been a problem in the U.S. But where suicide was once the second leading cause of death among young people, the rate has dramatically increased during COVID to include even younger children among its victims.
“Suicide is no longer just the second leading cause of death of young people between the ages of 15-24,” says Dr. Asim Shah, chief of Psychiatry at Harris Health System’s Ben Taub Hospital and executive vicechair and professor of Psychiatry, and Family and Community Medicine at Baylor College of Medicine. “It’s expanded to become the second leading cause of death of people 10 to 34, with one death occurring every eleven minutes.”
Shah calls this expansion “mindboggling,” noting that even these grim statistics of youth suicide are probably on the conservative side as many causes of death of 10 to 12-yearolds are not disclosed. “It’s a national tragedy.”
There are many reasons for this increase. The stigma surrounding suicide is so prevalent that we often ignore the warning signs until it’s too late. And then, after someone has died by suicide, we don’t talk about it.
This stigma-driven silence is further exacerbated by three environmental contributing factors that may be fueling this disturbing uptick in youth suicides, according to mental health experts like Shah.
“Substance abuse, mental illness, and access to firearms are our three working hypotheses (as to why more young people are dying by suicide),” he explains.
For Nicholas Azarm, drugs, depression, and guns converged in devastating fashion. On Nov. 2, 2014, after a long struggle with addiction and depression, Azarm attempted to take his own life using a .22 caliber gun. He was just 20 years old. Miraculously, he survived and now takes every opportunity to talk to others who may be struggling with suicidal ideations.
“I still don’t know why I did it,” Azarm recalls soberly. “It was just a moment, a single moment of thinking it’s not worth it to live.”
Azarm says he got caught up in a bad situation. It eventually led him to dropping out of school and spiraling into a cycle of depression and drug use until it nearly incapacitated him.
“I looked at my old classmates, who were in college and living their lives, and felt like a failure,” he says.
Though he’d already sold all his guns to support his addiction, Azarm knew where his grandfather kept his .22 and a shotgun. In a sad twist of irony, he chose the .22 because he knew the shotgun would “make more of a mess” and he “felt bad about doing that to (his) family.”
This decision ultimately saved his life and goes a long way toward informing us of the person Azarm is: a considerate, loving young man who never wanted to inconvenience anyone, but feels lucky to be alive.
“There are people out there that care, I just didn’t realize it in that moment,” Azarm says, now referring to his suicide attempt as “the accident.” But unlike so many suicide attempts, Azarm and his father, Fred Azarm, speak openly about the accident and Nicholas’ addiction in hopes that his story can help save lives.
Identifying the warning signs and getting your child or friend help early is the exact scenario mental health experts want to promote and raise awareness. According to Shah, here are the warning signs and some things we can do to help identify to prevent suicide.
The Early Warning Signs of Suicide
•Expressing thoughts of hopelessness or worthlessness on social media
•With drawing from family, community and friends
• Increased substance use or abuse
•Lack of interest, signs of depression, mood swings, reckless or risky behavior
• Signs of bullying at school
• Post-partum depression
If you notice any of these traits in your kids, friends or family members, Shah urges you to TAKE IT SERIOUSLY.
“These signs are all very serious things to consider and our threshold for getting these people help should be minimal,” he explains.
What We Can Do
There are both proactive and protective measures we can do as supporters of those who may be suffering from suicidal ideations. Proactive (helping others):
• Get these kids help. Call the Suicide Hotline at 800-273-TALK. Anyone can call and there are mental health professionals available 24/7 to answer your call.
• Remove any access to firearms. More than 50% of suicides are carried out by using a firearm. Removing access greatly decreases the chances of suicide.
• If the person has expressed a plan to commit suicide, do everything you can to prevent it.
• If the person is struggling with addiction, seek professional help.
“There are almost always warning signs,” Shah says. “Talk to them about it. Don’t worry about them getting upset with you. Their life is more important than them being angry with you.”
Protective (helping yourself):
• Access mental healthcare early.
• Be a person who is future-oriented.
• Stay connected to friends and family.
• Talk regularly with a therapist or doctor, especially if you have a family history of addiction or mental illness.
• Ask for help when you need it.
Today, Nicholas is looking to the future. He’s enrolled in community college and is closer than ever with his family. When asked if the “the accident” will come to define his life, Nicholas says he doesn’t know. “I still struggle with depression,” he admits. “But at least I get to wake up and live. You can’t change the past, but you can change yourself.”
If you are experiencing thoughts of suicide, contact the Suicide Hotline at 800-273-TALK immediately.