Battle Red a thing of beauty

The Texans will unveil four new uniforms Tuesday, which means the ones fans have grown to love — and maybe become tired of, in some instances — will be relegated to the back of your closet.

It says something about the original design that they were able to stick around for 22 years with very few changes, except for some alternates being thrown into the mix and a mishmash of combinations.

In all, the Texans have worn 11 different combinations of uniforms since they debuted in 2002 sporting the white jerseys with blue pants in their win over the Cowboys.

Hating on everything possible is the trend, but, truthfully, none of the Texans’ sartorial choices were too bad, except maybe the ketchup bottle look they tried to push on everyone a few too many times.

Here’s a ranking of every Texans’ uniform combination over the years from worst to best …

11. Red from top to bottom

It’s hard to explain exactly why this is the worst. It’s kind of like how you don’t cover your steak in chocolate. Do you like steak? Definitely. Do you like chocolate? Absolutely. How about this chocolate-covered steak then? Uh … don’t be weird. And, that’s where we are with this look the Texans wore just once. Everyone loves the Battle Red jerseys. The red helmets also are cool. Put them together with the red pants? That’s gonna be a no from me, Toro.

10. Ketchup bottles

This was a popular look for a while with the Texans wearing them in a game for four straight seasons from 2007-10, but fans dubbed the red jersey-red-pantsblue helmet combination the “ketchup bottles” and they haven’t seen the light of day since 2010.

9. Classic road jerseys

This is the uniform combination the Texans probably have worn the most since they don’t often change things up on the road. It’s low on the list, but there’s absolutely nothing wrong with this classic look. The red numbers pop on the white jersey, it’s just that the alternate uniforms are better. Also, it doesn’t help that the Texans wore these in four of their seven playoff losses. So … bad memories.

8. Battle Red mashup

The Texans only trotted out this mashup once, using them against the Jaguars in 2016 only for them never to return. Again, the Battle Red jersey is a cool look, but it’s a lot when matched with the blue pants. It looks great when you create your uniform on the Madden video game, but not so much wrapped tightly around the bodies of 300-pound men.

7. The icy whites

The white tops with the white pants is always a clean look. The Texans got trounced in these in the 2012 playoffs by Tom Brady and the Patriots at Foxborough, but it’s still a good look.

6. Traditional home look

If you ever bought a Houston Texans jersey, especially in the first 10 years or so of the franchise, this is probably the one you have. It’s the Texans’ classic look and absolutely nothing wrong with it being paired with white pants.

5. Blue on blue

The monochromatic look is eye-catching, as long as it isn’t bright red on top of more bright red. Maybe this one gets the slight nod over the traditional home combination just because we saw it so rarely, but it’s a clean look.

4. Original Battle Red

This was a big hit when the Texans debuted it in 2003, the franchise’s second season. They continued to wear this combination at least once a year for a long time before tinkering with what pants they got paired with.

3. Battle red all around

After panning the complete head-to-toe Battle Red look, we’re going to rate this version with the red helmet, red jersey and white pants way higher. The classic white pants just makes the whole thing more palatable and really sharp. The Texans only wore these twice: Once against the Eagles in 2022 and again in the 2023 Steelers game.

2. Color rush with blue

The NFL had a smash hit on their hands when they debuted the Color Rush uniforms in 2016. The Texans didn’t get to wear them until 2017, but they’re the best threads they’ve ever worn. That Deep Steel Blue looks excellent all the way through and the red numbers, lettering and stripe down the pants really pop.

1. Color rush with red

The only way to top the Color Rush uniforms is to throw on the Battle Red helmets with them, which the Texans did against the Cardinals in 2023. The helmet matching the red trim is superb.

Brett Coomer/Staff photographer Nico Collins sporting the team’s classic road look.

Elizabeth Conley/Staff Photographer The Texans paired their Battle Red helmets with their blue color rush look against the Cardinals in November, and the results were very photogenic.

Jon Shapley/Staff photographer Tank Dell and Co. wore the icy whites in September against the Colts, a look that hasn’t brought the team much success.

Brett Coomer/Staff photographer Battle Red does have its limits, as C.J. Stroud showed off this unflattering look for a November game against Jacksonville.

Yi-Chin Lee/Staff photographer Derek Stingley Jr. dons the most traditional uniform.