FACIAL EXPRESSIONS, GESTURES, AND ATTITUDE REVEAL OUR TRUE INTENTIONS
1. WHY DO I TOUCH MY NOSE WHEN I ’ M LYING?
TRIGGER: lying
CONSEQUENCE: When President Bill Clinton was testifying about his relationship with Monica Lewinsky, he touched his nose 26 times a minute. Body language experts immediately knew: Clinton was lying. Telling a lie makes blood pressure rise, supplying vessels in the nose with more blood and making the nerve endings tingle. So the nose itches, and we scratch it.
2. CAN MY TONGUE REVEAL THAT I THINK I’M GETTING AWAY WITH SOMETHING?
TRIGGER: the expectation of not getting caught
CONSEQUENCE: Whether it’s during a poker game, business negotiation, or an FBI interview, people who think they’re getting away with something tend to briefly run their tongue across their lips. This happens because the high degree of vigilance we exercise when we’re trying to hide something often makes our lips dry out.
3. HOW DO I SIT WHEN I FEEL UNTOUCHABLE?
TRIGGER: arrogance
CONSEQUENCE: When we seek to demonstrate dominance and show an interview partner that our position is unassailable, we lean back. Such a posture has an intimidating effect, reflects a low opinion of our partner, and conveys the feeling of (possibly unfounded) superiority.
4. DOES MY FOREHEAD REVEAL MY DEGREE OF SINCERITY?
TRIGGER: empathy and concern
CONSEQUENCE: “If you want to know whether someone is actually empathetic or just pretending to be, observe the forehead,” says body language expert Bernhard P. Wirth. You can see this on the face of any TV news anchor: When newscasters are personally moved by a story, you can detect horizontal furrows across the brow. If the story is less gripping, there are no furrows.
5. WHAT DO I DO WITH MY TOES WHEN I’M FEELING DELIGHTED?
TRIGGER: happiness
CONSEQUENCE: One indicator that a person is genuinely happy about something is found in the toes. When people are happy, they turn their toes up. “Our feet often reflect emotions more accurately than our faces,” says body language expert Joe Navarro.
6. WHAT DO I DO WITH MY HANDS WHEN I ’ M ILL AT EASE?
TRIGGER: unpleasant situations
CONSEQUENCE: If a woman touches her chest between her neck and the neckline of her dress, she’s ill at ease. In a comparable situation, men will be more likely to stroke their neck. Both reactions are subconscious attempts to distract other people.
7. HOW DO I STAND WHEN I’M TRYING TO EXPRESS DOMINANCE?
TRIGGER: threatening gestures
CONSEQUENCE: In a confrontational situation, we tend to put our hands on our hips to communicate our sense of dominance. This posture makes us appear wider than we really are. Such space-filling stances are a result of evolution, and analogous postures can be observed in many animals.
8. WHERE DO MY EYES LOOK WHEN I’M LYING?
TRIGGER: lying
CONSEQUENCE: The motion takes 25 milliseconds: If you ask someone a question and the eyes immediately shift to the right, the person is lying. This small gesture is a clear sign that the person is attempting to invent a plausible response.
9. AM I LOOKING FOR MORE INSIGHT WHEN I TOUCH MY EARLOBE?
TRIGGER: the feeling of not really understanding
CONSEQUENCE: When a person grasps an earlobe, it’s a sign that he or she seeks to see things better. The reason: There’s an acupuncture point on each earlobe that stimulates the eyes. Rubbing the earlobe is a signal that you want a better view of things.
10. CAN THE WAY I HOLD MY HEAD SIGNAL INTEREST?
TRIGGER: interest or indifference
CONSEQUENCE: When involved in a discussion, if someone tilts the head to the left, it indicates skepticism and doubt. Titling the head to the right, on the other hand, indicates willingness to discuss things and to set personal interests aside.
11. DO MY HANDS REVEAL MY LEVEL OF SELF-CONFIDENCE?
TRIGGER: the feeling of self-confidence
CONSEQUENCE: When someone brings the fingertips and thumbs of the two hands together so only the tips are touching, it is a signal that the person is completely convinced by what he or she is doing or saying. The media have dubbed this hand gesture the “triangle of power.”
12. WHY DO I GET “HAPPY FEET” WHEN I ’ M OVERJOYED?
TRIGGER: a joyful occurrence
CONSEQUENCE: “The legs and feet can provide some of the most reliable nonverbal signals because they’ve been essential for the fight-or-flight response since day one,” says Joe Navarro. “One example is the happy feet you see when something really exciting is just about to happen to someone or the person is very excited about what has just happened.”
13. HOW DO I SIT WHEN I’M READY TO GO?
TRIGGER: impatience or the impulse to flee
CONSEQUENCE: Placing your hands on your knees is a clear signal that you want to get up and leave. The reason: This movement is the first one we undertake when we want to stand up. “Pressing down on your knees with your hands helps lift your upper body,” says Navarro.
14. HOW DO I WALK WHEN I’M AFRAID?
TRIGGER: indecision
CONSEQUENCE: Taking small steps is often a sign of fear and caution. It signals indecision and is the way we tend to move in a situation that makes us feel uneasy or even apprehensive. Lengthening your stride, on the other hand, expresses confidence.
15. HOW DO MY LIPS REFLECT ANGER?
TRIGGER: suppressed anger or fear
CONSEQUENCE: “Our lips react to the reality of a given moment and can accurately communicate our feelings and sentiments to others,” says Navarro. Compressing our lips is a sign that we are either angry or afraid but don’t want to show it. “When we press our lips together, it is as if our brain is telling us to shut down and not allow anything into our body,” he says.
16. CAN A FINGER INDICATE THAT I DISLIKE SOMEONE?
TRIGGER: a feeling of antipathy for your opponent
CONSEQUENCE: In various studies, body language experts have found that if we’re seated at a table with a disagreeable or dislikeable person and there is an object lying in front of us, we will shove it away with our middle finger.
17. DOES MY NOSE MOVE IF I DISLIKE SOMETHING?
TRIGGER: dissatisfaction
CONSEQUENCE: If we encounter something we don’t like, we’ll flare our nostrils for a fraction of a second. “If someone’s nostrils flare during an argument,” says Navarro, “back off. They are oxygenating and something physical is about to happen.”