World’s worst drivers?

In the 25-minute errand run I took last week from my home in Imperial to the far side of El Centro and back, my car was almost hit by three vehicles.

All three cars were pulled in front of my vehicle as I was driving. The closest call was when a car came zooming out of a county parking lot onto State Street in El Centro. Fortunately, I was driving a Mini Cooper, so his car missed my front end by a couple inches. A regular-sized car would have been smashed. After the near miss, the young male driver zipped away, without a look or gesture of apology.

I’ve seen bad and aggressive driving in Italy, in Argentina, in San Francisco, in La-La Land, but nowhere is the driving as blatantly stupid as the Valley.

Area law enforcement agencies have announced that enforcement will be increased this month to try to lessen distracted driving, as April is Distracted Driving Awareness Month. That’s a wonderful effort, as about 30 percent of Valley drivers at any one time are either talking on their cell phones or texting.

Here’s an example: later on that aforementioned day last week, I saw a young woman driver, going about 40 mph (the speed limit is 65) on Highway 111, run all four tires onto the shoulder, overcorrect and almost flip her car, then yank her little car back onto the highway, all the while not breaking her attention from the text she was sending.

So there does need to be greater enforcement regarding distracted driving in the Valley, not only of people talking on their cell phones or texting but on people paying more attention to their passengers or their tortas than the road.

Yes, a few months ago I saw an elderly couple going 35 mph in the fast lane of Highway 111. When I passed the car on the right, I saw the two thoroughly enjoying their tortas, with the driver obviously more interested in his huge torta than the traffic jam he was causing.

OK, the torta did look sumptuous. I too would have been distracted by it if I’d been driving with that torta in hand, which is why I don’t eat tortas while I drive … generally.

Here in the Valley law enforcement officials should not only be on lookout for distracted drivers but be vigilant about catching inconsiderate and just plain stupid drivers.

Valley drivers regularly pull their vehicles onto streets in front of oncoming vehicles, expecting the other drivers to hit their brakes to avoid collisions. That is illegal, dangerous and idiotic.

The local protocol at four-way stops does not proceed as codified. The driver who got there first is supposed to go first, and if the drivers arrive at the stop simultaneously the driver on the right goes first. In the Valley, the protocol is whoever has the biggest vehicle, the worst attitude or the loudest sound system goes first.

And let’s not even get into how local people drive in parking lots.

Angry about my series of near misses while driving that morning last week, I stopped to do my last errand. While in the store I found out a guy I knew a bit, someone I think was a bit younger than I am, had died suddenly from an apparent heart attack. That shocking information made me think about my angry reaction to all that had happened that day.

I’ve spent years honking or giving incredulous looks at rude, moronic and distracted drivers in the Valley. I suddenly realized that does no good for anyone, particularly not for me or my blood pressure. The only thing that will work is for law enforcement officers giving tons of tickets to distracted, inconsiderate and just plain stupid drivers.

So go get ‘em, men and women in blue. I’ll be honking my support.