Run­away dad on dat­ing site is guilty of false ad­ver­tis­ing

Imperial Valley Press - - NASCAR THIS WEEK - JEANNE PHILLIPS Dear Abby is writ­ten by Abi­gail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Con­tact Dear Abby at www.DearAbby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los An­ge­les, CA 90069. What teens need to know about sex,

DEAR ABBY: Last year I had a baby with one of my col­lege pro­fes­sors.

He left me 10 days be­fore our daugh­ter was born and has never met her.

I chased him through fam­ily court, and he gives me the bare min­i­mum in state-or­dered sup­port.

Re­cently, I spot­ted him ad­ver­tis­ing him­self on a dat­ing web­site as a lov­ing man and de­scrib­ing how he loves his first daugh­ter with no men­tion of ours (he has two other chil­dren, a girl and a boy).

How do I move past this? A part of me is an­gry for her, but I’m also an­gry for my­self.

I’m in ther­apy, but see­ing him on a dat­ing web­site de­scrib­ing him­self as a good per­son, when in truth he’s a so­ciopath, has re­opened wounds I thought had closed months ago.

-- OPEN WOUNDS

DEAR OPEN WOUNDS: Thank you for writ­ing to me, but this is a ques­tion you should be ad­dress­ing with your psy­chother­a­pist.

Some­times it takes mul­ti­ple doses of “medicine” to cure an ail­ment, but the longer you al­low this man to oc­cupy real es­tate in your head, the harder it will be for you to get on with your life.

Call your ther­a­pist.

DEAR ABBY: I love my fi­ance with all my heart. We have good friends and fam­ily.

The prob­lem is, my fi­ance loves to talk. He talks A LOT.

I’ve known this since I met him, but be­cause I don’t talk much, it doesn’t bother me.

I like lis­ten­ing to his sto­ries. How­ever, I can see our friends get­ting an­noyed be­cause of his con­stant talk­ing.

It also hap­pens when we are around his fam­ily -and they usu­ally end up treat­ing him badly for it.

Is there any way I can gen­tly talk to him about this so he’s aware that he is ir­ri­tat­ing peo­ple?

I don’t want to hurt him, but I also don’t want him to an­noy peo­ple.

I’m also afraid it may af­fect his em­ploy­ment. His co-work­ers get that same look on their faces when he’s talk­ing that his fam­ily mem­bers do when they are an­noyed with him.

-- EN­GAGED TO A BIG TALKER

DEAR EN­GAGED: Your fi­ance may have dif­fi­culty pick­ing up on so­cial cues, which is why he doesn’t no­tice that others be­come an­noyed as he drones on and on.

You should ab­so­lutely point out to him what you have no­ticed, and tell him you are con­cerned that it may af­fect his em­ploy­ment.

Then sug­gest he dis­cuss his com­pul­sive talk­ing with a li­censed men­tal health pro­fes­sional.

This is not to im­ply there is any­thing “wrong” with him, but rather that he may ben­e­fit from pro­fes­sional help in rec­og­niz­ing the so­cial cues he is miss­ing.

A NOTE TO PAR­ENTS OF YOUNG CHIL­DREN: Tonight is the night when wee witches and gob­lins will be out trick-or-treat­ing.

Please su­per­vise them so they’ll be safe. Happy Hal­loween, ev­ery­one! -- Love, ABBY

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