Questions, questions
We get questions from readers, so sometimes we respond, sometimes even seriously. Q. Aren’t you retired yet? If not, when are you going to retire? — Tony, Westmorland
A. I know I look more like a big-butted Bernie Sanders with each passing month, but I’m only 59 and have no intention of retiring from any of my many jobs anytime soon.
I like teaching, even when facing the prospect of a three-foot stack of finals and term papers, as I did last week. I love my students absolutely. Top that off with a month-long, all-expenses-paid teaching assignment in Europe each summer — this year in Ireland — and it’s a pretty good gig overall.
As for writing, I’ll be doing that as long as my fingers function. After 27 years, I still thoroughly enjoy writing this column each week. And the screenwriting is going well. A feature film I wrote has been filmed, edited and should be out soon, and I have another movie preliminarily set for shooting in September.
Regarding retirement from basketball, that could happen soon. I can still run and I can still shoot — sometimes — but that’s about it. Still, none of the young players are cutting me any slack yet, as far as I know. The only problem is when younger players drive to the hole and my cane gets under their feet.
I did meet with a financial advisor last week regarding when I might be able to financially afford retirement. He presented a workup that showed how much I would collect from my various retirement funds, depending on the age at which I retire.
He also had a category called, “Bret’s life expectancy” that reported I have, according to his calculations, 26 years and two months left to live. For a reason I still don’t understand fully, this struck me as darkly hilarious. It took me a few minutes to stop laughing. The advisor appeared to think my reaction was weird. I wanted to tell him a sense of humor is important for health, and it might allow me to live for, oh, maybe another 26 years and three months.
Q. That guy who’s obsessed with you wrote yet another letter to the editor attacking you. It seems unfair that he takes so much that you write out of context. Why don’t you ever respond? — Maria, El Centro
A. I’ve responded once previously, with a sentence or two. My attitude is this: I’ve had my say, and now others can have their say. As for taking things out of context, people do that. I’m sure I have done that. The sad thing is you don’t exactly need to take things out of context to make me look bad. I write enough actual foolish stuff to get myself into plenty of trouble.
This guy and others are upset about a column I wrote about Sean Hannity. Notice, though, that none of Hannity’s defenders questioned my main premise, which is Hannity is not exactly bright and tends to repeat a few phrases over and over like a poorly trained parrot: “deep state,” “fake news,” “Benghazi” and “Seanny want a Trump hug.”
I would argue that saying someone is not particularly smart and akin to a poorly trained parrot is being descriptive, not name-calling. Then again, with a president/Hannity man-crush who calls people names more often than Bobby “The Brain” Heenan ever did (my second pro wrestling reference in two weeks, I’m proud to note), our standard for what constitutes name-calling may be skewed.
Q. How do you think our Raiders are going to do this year? — Joe, Holtville
A. With Jon Gruden back as coach and some intriguing pickups in free agency and the draft, it should be interesting. With Raiders fans, if hope doesn’t always spring eternal, it usually springs until the season’s second or third game.