The best option is to reach out to teachers, parents

If a student is being bullied, the best option is to “tell, tell, tell.” “Tell someone,” Miriam Belopolsky, Imperial County Office of Education Student Wellbeing and Family Resources Department director, told Imperial Valley Press recently. “Get help, because we are getting better at helping the aggressors and the victims.”

Students can report bullying to their teacher, to their parents or even to their friends, she said.

“Parents, teachers and support staff perk up a little bit better now, where in the past we might have dismissed it as normal aggressive behavior. Schools need to take all aggressive behavior seriously. When you hear it, perk up and ask questions.”

Bullying can no longer be dismissed as harmless teasing or as a normal, yet undesirable, behavior, according to ICOE guidelines. Rather, bullying is a pattern of deliberate, negative, hurtful, aggressive acts that work to shift the balance of physical, emotional or social power.

For parents, Belopolsky said it is important for them to keep an open line of communication with their kids and to provide a safe space where children can speak about issues that bother them, including bullying.

“We want parents to have a conversation with their child, their daughter or son,” she said. “Don’t hesitate. It is kind of like a child being given permission and allowing the parent to tell their child, if something is happening to you at school, please tell me. If you don’t feel comfortable telling me, please find your school counselor. Tell your teacher, and it will circle back around. We’ve not only got to triage it, but we’ve got to work holistically with the child to repair those damages because those emotional scars last a lifetime.”

Belopolsky said she remembers being bullied herself and added she still carries the emotional wounds with her as an adult.

“I was never hit or kicked or pushed. Of course, that is bullying, but bullying is also the verbal and the emotional and psychological (abuse). Those scars stay with us for a very long time, so it is serious.”

If a student doesn’t feel comfortable talking to their parents or school staff, they can turn to a trusted friend, Belopolsky said.

“Tell a friend. Even if their friend isn’t divulging or reporting it, friends will know, and friends are good leakers. We want to encourage those friends. If you know of someone close to you or an acquaintance or a friend that you believe is a victim, tell a teacher.”

ICOE offers a Bullying and School Violence Advocacy Program that provides direct services to children and teen victims of bullying or school violence in fourth through eighth grades in eight Imperial County school districts, according to Belopolsky.

The program is funded by the U.S. Department of Justice, Victims of Crime Act, through the California Governor’s Office of Emergency Services. It is administered locally by the ICOE Student Well-Being and Family Resources Department.

The program provides education advocacy with administrators on behalf of youth, counseling services, resource and referrals, and assistance with providing information on crime victim compensation services to youth clients.

The program does not aim to establish bully prevention or to work with an aggressor, Belopolsky said, but to focus resources on the victims.

“It is advocacy on behalf of the targeted individual,” Belopolsky said. “We’ve got to teach certain skills that intervene and try and prevent repeated offenses.

Participating School Districts in Imperial County include the Brawley Elementary School District, Calexico Unified School District, Calipatria Unified School District, Heber Elementary School District, Imperial Unified School District, San Pasqual Valley Unified School District, Seeley Union School District and Westmorland Union School District.

“Staffing is limited to go into those school districts, which comprises about 25 different schools,” Belopolsky said. “It is a specialty population. We are looking at the referral process, which is very tailored and specialized, and we educate the administrators in those school districts, those principals and those teachers to understand what kind of kid we are looking for, and there is really no lack of need.”

Funding for the project, which began on Jan. 1, was originally slated to last only through Aug. 31. However, ICOE has secured an extension to guarantee funding through December 2019, Belopolsky said.

“We are good to go … because we’re performing and touching the lives of enough students.”

The funding currently is only aimed at fourth through eighth grade students because that age group is generally where bullying begins to happen, Belopolsky said.

“Fourth grade is a good place to begin, but these incidents and episodes really start spiking in the fifth grade and they are really prevalent in the sixth grade and in the seventh grade. In the eighth grade, kids start settling in a tad bit. There is a tad bit of a drop, but we dosage them before those victims of bullying move on to high school.”

High school would require a different strategy, Belopolsky said, and students in kindergarten through third grade don’t typically experience as severe bullying.

“It is not saying that it doesn’t happen (to younger students), but the data supports the grades that I wrote (the grant request) for because I had to back it up with what students are saying.”

For tips on how to deal with a bully, visit https:// kidshealth.org/en/kids/bullies.html