Don’t just stand there; vote

In a few weeks, hundreds of people across the country, well, mostly guys, will begin to camp outdoors, all for the privilege of blowing their hard-earned money on Black Friday.

Thousands more will leave their Thanksgiving tables to be first in line to burst through the doors of the nearest big-box retailer.

Hey, those those $5 waffle irons aren’t gonna buy themselves.

Black Friday brings what has become a new American tradition: Bum rushes, kid trampling and fist fights over items no one will be using five years from now.

And those Fight Club scrums will be posted on social media for our shock and amusement.

There’s nothing more self-satisfying than knowing that while you’ve done some dumb things in your life at least you aren’t on YouTube, wrestling someone’s mee-maw to the ground over the last pair of stretch pants.

Like Pavlov’s dog, some of us form a line any time Apple introduces a “new and improved” device that looks weirdly like the one they dangled before us six months previously.

Patience of Job

We stand in line for concert tickets, even as they get gobbled up by online brokers in less time than it takes to finish this sentence.

If it’s a teen idol’s concert, we’ll get to see videos of sobbing kids as they complete their introductory course in Life Isn’t Fair.

Let the Cleveland Browns somehow, miraculously, make the playoffs, and the line of ticket hopefuls would be visible from space.

A new superhero movie not only will send some people into apoplexy, it also will drive many to stand in line — in costume, at midnight — for the bragging rights.

Though the chances of getting struck by lightning were measurably better, millions of us stood in line last week and this week, chasing the American dream of becoming a lottery billionaire.

We’ll stand in line to sample the latest craft beer or to buy our kids the hottest new toy.

We’ll exercise the patience of Job for a chance to stand in line to try out for American Idol, or to become a movie extra, or a contestant on “Survivor,” “The Bachelor” or “America’s Got Talent.”

We’ll stand in line for anything free. It could be bread crumbs. We’ll wait.

23-cent pizza

Back in 2008, thousands of Northeast Ohioans waited in line for hours to buy 23-cent pizzas from Papa John’s after the chain insulted LeBron James.

The price coincided with James’ jersey number and earned the pizza chain millions in free publicity, which it probably could use again right about now.

So, the unwillingness of some people to spend time standing in line to vote doesn’t wash.

The irony of being free? It costs something.

A healthy nation requires the participation of its citizens.

What’s astonishing is that 44 percent of eligible voters didn’t cast a ballot in 2018, thereby placing their futures in the hands of the kind of people who would vault over a wheelchair to grab a $10 Barbie Beach House.

Years from now, when the stretch pants have stretched and the waffle iron is kaput, we’ll be living with the after-effects of the 2018 midterm election, however it goes.

Apple might accept some customer input, but a vote makes your wants and wishes clearly known. If that weren’t so, there wouldn’t be people trying to make it as difficult as possible.

From now until Nov. 6, stand up for yourself and for your country.

For as long as it takes.