She really makes herself at home
DEAR ABBY >>
Whenever my husband, kids and I go away, my mother-in-law insists on staying at our house. She then rearranges the rooms in my house, moving things to where she thinks they should be. She also manages to leave behind her toiletries in the bathroom.
It drives me crazy. Going on vacation stresses me out because I have no idea what I’m going to come home to. When my husband tells her I don’t like when she rearranges things, she gets defensive and cries about how she “can’t understand why I hate her.” I don’t hate her; I just wish she would respect my boundaries in my house. Advice?
— Invaded in Pennsylvania
DEAR INVADED >>
I’m glad to provide some. The next time your MIL insists on housesitting while you are on holiday, say you have made other arrangements and do not waver. (If necessary, change the locks.)
My husband had a stroke five years ago. I’ve been taking care of him ever since. I recently found out that he cheated on me. I want to get him into a VA home. What form would I need? I’m hoping to avoid a messy divorce. I’m fine if we stay married but no longer live together. He accuses me of “not doing anything.” Our house is paid for and we have no debts. Our daughters are grown and live elsewhere. Should I contact an attorney?
DEAR ABBY >>
— Wants out in the South
DEAR WANTS OUT >>
By all means, contact an attorney. You have a responsibility for your husband’s welfare. Do nothing in anger. Before making any plans, you might want to discuss this with your daughters, who may be able to suggest alternative solutions to the one you are considering, such as hiring a part-time caregiver for your husband.
DEAR ABBY >>
Long ago, my parents purchased a large burial plot for our entire family, including spouses if we have them. My spouse isn’t eligible because he doesn’t fit the cemetery’s religious requirement. My parents and I also don’t see eye to eye on politics.
Part of me says let it be, but they seem to relish the idea that we will “all be together,” when in reality, I do not. I’d like to be cremated, which also goes against religious beliefs. Thoughts?
— Bad Son in Virginia
DEAR SON >>
I think it’s your body, your choice. The odds of your folks being buried before you are great. In the meantime, since their fantasy of one big happy family plot is something they relish, be kind and don’t ruin it for them.