Wife fantasizes about a friend

I am an unhappily married woman with young children. I am attracted to a friend of mine and my husband’s, but he is also married. He’s a bit older, and I can’t tell for sure if he has feelings for me, but sometimes I suspect it. He has made me jewelry and gifts, and I’ve caught him looking at me a few times.

We have exchanged messages on social media and he often asks me questions about myself — what I like, etc. He’s just so quiet that I can’t tell if it all means anything. I could never leave my husband and break up my family, and I could never break up someone else’s family. What should I do?

— Crushing in the Midwest

Face it: You’re TAKEN. Because you could “never leave” your husband or break up someone else’s marriage, figure out what’s gone wrong in your relationship with your husband and resolve to fix it. Some sessions with a licensed marriage and family therapist would be the place to start. Do it NOW.

I am with someone who drinks and gambles and has made countless promises that have been broken. I recently checked his Facebook account, and he follows at least 12 women in their 20s, most of whom he barely knows or doesn’t know at all. Most of them are almost naked in every picture.

I told him it bothers me, but he doesn’t seem to care. I told him it is disrespectful to me as his significant other. He has written to a few of them telling them how beautiful they are. Am I wrong?

— At a Loss in Florida

Your gentleman friend may be a voyeur drawn to photos of random “beautiful young ladies.” It has nothing to do with respect (or the lack thereof) he has for you. He likes to LOOK! It is now time to ask yourself why you stay with someone who gambles, drinks and breaks his promises (which IS disrespectful). His voyeurism is the least of your worries.

I went out to eat at a fancy Manhattan restaurant with some of my siblings. One of them overordered and ran up a huge bill. When it came time to pay, he said, “Let’s charge it to Daddy’s credit card.” Our father is well-off and probably would have been OK with it, but I objected on principle.

We ended up splitting the bill, which irritated me since my wife and I ordered much less. What should I have done and what should I do in the future when it crops up, because it will?

— Money-conscious

The next time you go to a fancy restaurant with your siblings, before the order is taken, tell the server you would like separate checks.

Contact Dear Abby at Dearabby.com.