Some ‘constructive goal-setting suggestions’
Oh ye of little faith.
You probably thought that I forgot about offering up a second set of New Year’s Resolutions, with the new batch directed not at me (a lost cause) or Inyo County (insert your favorite lost cause here), since I offered some resolute ideas to county honchos in the first batch.
Now it’s everyone else’s turn for some “constructive goal-setting suggestions.”
It seems Mono County has resolved to be so hip it hurts, thanks to the recent decision to jettison the apparently old fashioned and fuddy-duddy title of
Personnel Director. That stodgy title has been ditched in favor of a very hip, up-todate moniker, “Chief People Officer.” That sounds like the organizer of a Burning
Man Camp. Which might be the goal.
Speaking of our friends in the great white frozen north, let’s hope Mammoth
Lakes Tourism and Mammoth Mountain continue to resolve to spend millions to subsidize commercial air service into the
Bishop Airport. Two weeks of storms that closed U.S. 595 and Mammoth Mountain on and off didn’t faze the fliers who swooped into Bishop. Some had to spend a night or two in Bishop, but that merely fits into the Grand Marketing Plan. Hoping for a closed highway so tourists bound for Mammoth get stuck in Bishop for a day or two of wallet surgery is a timehonored, long-standing Bishop/Inyo economic development strategy.
The Bishop City Council should resolve to “rebrand” a section of downtown after some residents got lit up and started huffing and puffing about the arrival of two retail pot shops. They pointed out the heart of downtown will have two bars, a brew pub, a vodka distillery, a wine and frozen yogurt shop, a huge liquor store, numerous restaurants, a movie theater and two pot shops. In most towns, that is a called “the entertainment district.” You’re welcome.
Be It Resolved that anyone, from Wiccans to Jews to Buddhists to Christians to Zoroastrians to Muslims to Wizards/ Witches to Hindus to Druids to Taoists to Shaman to Bahais to dozens of Indigenous spiritual traditional believers, who want to pray for the City of Bishop at the city council meeting can do so during Public Comment. Atheists and agnostics also welcome. Probably shouldn’t include smudging with sage, making burnt offerings or goat sacrifices, though. Alarms might go off.
After arguing with Inyo County about how much property tax it owes after a massive construction binge in Death Valley, Xanterra should resolve to just take a deep breath and write a huge property tax check when its next new tax bill comes do for no-debate new construction. The webpage claims a $150 million in new wonderfulness at the Ranch at Death Valley, including brand new commercial buildings, 80 new “cottages,” plus 22 new “casitas” at the Inn. Hard to brag about spending $150 million then get cold feet about paying higher taxes on that investment. PS: Inyo should resolve to send love, kisses and flowers every month when Xanterra sends in its huge county Bed Tax Payment.
Caltrans resolves to remember its experience building a fourlane bypass around Olancha which involved building a road over the LA Aqueduct and through miles of gullies and boulderstrewn stretches of sagebrush. Then it should put that expertise to work to build the Bishop Bypass (sorry, Alternate Route or Truck Route, again, we’re rebranding in Bishop) which seems simple in comparison: Shoot east off U.S. 395 by the Sunland Landfill, build a two-lane road through level pastures and some ditches and canals that swoops by the Bishop Airport, and scoots past the Caltrans Maintenance Shop behind Vons before linking with U.S. 6.
(Jon Klusmire of Bishop resolves to quit making New Year’s resolutions.)