– Trapped By a Monster
Dear Annie: My hus- band doesn’t spend time with me anymore. We have been together for eight years and married for three. We were inseparable most of that time, but, all of a sudden, he doesn’t want me around. He says most married people hardly ever hang out. He tells me the honeymoon is over.
I have tried everything. At marriage counseling, he puts on a show and tries to make me look bad. He mostly ignores my calls and texts when he leaves, and when he does respond, it’s very nasty.
I’m not sure if he is cheating or not. I don’t think I want to be married to him anymore. How do I handle this? Is asking for a divorce reasonable? How do you do that?
Dear said all of that during your therapy sessions, and you still want a divorce, then you can most certainly ask for one. Honesty, love and communication are all pillars for a healthy marriage, and you deserve a man who understands that.
Dear Annie: My husband and I have been married for 24 years, and we have two adult kids who no longer live in our household.
My husband has always treated me as if I were his maid. I am told to do all the housework. I don’t mind, but sometimes a little help is nice. When he’s not upset, he’s the sweetest man.
About three years ago, he made me quit my job because I cheated on him. He made me delete all social media, and I was unable to take individual pictures of myself.
We have been having lots of disagreements, and one day in our home, he hit me. That left me with bruises and a bad headache because he hit me on the head. I told him I didn’t love him and wanted to divorce him. As soon as I said that, he promised he would never hit me again and that he would be a better person in the future.
He always does this. He slaps me and then promises he will never do it again. And then he does it again, and I fall into his little game – again. After the most recent incident, he bought me a belt and clothing that I have been wanting so that I would forgive him.
What do I do to get away from him? I have no money or job. How do I leave this man?
Dear Trapped: It might feel like you are trapped because 24 years of living with a man who is abusive is a long time. But you are not trapped. There is help available. There are many local and national hotlines available to help women in your exact situation. I encourage you to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800799-7233 or chat with someone via their website (https://www.thehotline. org). The National Coalition Against Domestic Violence is another great resource at https://ncadv.org/gethelp. If you feel like you are in immediate danger, call 911. Just remember that you have the power to leave the cage that you feel trapped in. There are groups and people out there.
Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@ creators.com. To find out more about Annie Lane and read features by other Creators Syndicate columnists and cartoonists, visit the Creators Syndicate website at www.creators.com.
(March 21 to April 19) At this time, you might want to resist that otherwise admirable Aries penchant for getting to the heart of a matter quickly. Keep in mind that a delicate situation calls for patience.
(April 20 to May 20) Your aspects favor more diplomacy and fewer direct confrontations when dealing with a relationship problem. Avoiding hurt feelings can help in your search for the truth.
(May 21 to June 20) Positive aspects are strong this week. Although you still might have to deal with some problems caused by a recent period of turmoil, you are making progress, and that’s what counts.
(June 21 to July 22) A family matter could benefit from your counsel. But don’t bring yourself into it unless you’re invited, and don’t stay if you feel uneasy. Just remember to reassure one and all that you’ll be there for them.
(July 23 to August 22) As the truth about an ongoing situation emerges, you could find that you were right to defer judgment before you had all the facts. Now would be a good time to move on to other matters.
(August 23 to September 22) Your plans to take control of a personal situation because you feel the most qualified could create resentment. It’s best to hear what everyone else involved in the matter has to say about it first.
(September 23 to October 22) Uncovering some surprising background facts about that ongoing personal matter could make you reconsider the extent of your involvement. A neutral family member offers advice.
(October 23 to November 21) Religious or spiritual themes start to dominate your aspect this week. This can serve as a counterweight to the mounting effects of the season’s growing commercialization.
(November 22 to December 21) Taking on that recent challenge impressed a lot of important decisionmakers. Meanwhile, proceed with your holiday plans, and don’t forget to include you-know-who in them.
(December 22 to January 19) Disagreeing with an opinion that you can’t accept could be dicey, and your motives might be questioned. It’s better to wait to mount a challenge until you have support for your position.
(January 20 to February 18) Getting involved in helping others during this increasingly hectic period makes the generous Aquarian feel good. You could also gain a more substantive benefit from your actions.
(February 19 to March 20) The Piscean way of thinking clearly and objectively helps you resolve a complex situation without creating any ill will. Don’t be surprised if your counsel is requested on another matter.
You have a way of persuading people to look at the positive possibilities that make up for any hard choices they might face.