Uninvited guests threaten wedding day fun
Dear Annie: My nephew will be getting married in a couple of months. They are trying to stick to a budget. On their wedding website, there is a “question-and-answer” page with details for the big day. It clearly states that although they love children, it is an adults only event. It also states that plus ones are not invited.
My youngest brother has asked my sister – the mother of the groom – if he could bring his two kids as well as a guest of one of the children. My sister said yes, which understandably upset my nephew. I also hear that a sister of the bride plans to attend, along with uninvited children, because she does not have a babysitter.
How do you think things like this should be handled? I have no children, but I think it is disrespectful to go against the couple’s wishes. I personally think my sister needs to get in touch with my youngest brother and tell him she misspoke. I’d say his daughters are welcome to come visit but not to come to the wedding. What thoughts might you have on the subject?
– Hoping for a Respectful Wedding
Dear Hoping: You are absolutely right that the couple’s wishes are to be respected. I’m not sure why your sister felt she had authority over the guest list, but you should tell her exactly what you told me in this letter. It’s your nephew’s special day, and if his guests cannot follow the rules he so clearly laid out, they shouldn’t attend. Hopefully your sister can reach out to everyone she misinformed and let them know she was mistaken before the news has time to reach the couple and inevitably cause them stress.
Dear Annie: My girlfriend has a 36-year-old son who refuses to work. He has every excuse in the book. No job is right for him. Without any education or training, he wants to make $20 per hour. Even then, he either quits or gets fired. He has lived off family for all of the five years I’ve known him and currently lives with us. He never found any job, even part-time, last year and never paid any rent. We were forced to move.
Now we are in a 55-plus community that does not allow anyone younger. He has been hiding in the living room and porch. If discovered, the community can evict us. How do we get him out?
– Stuck With GF’s Son
Dear Stuck: The first step is making sure you and your girlfriend are on the same page. Is she OK with her son living with you? Does she think his behavior is a problem? Assuming she agrees with you, the next step would be to initiate a loving yet honest conversation between the three of you. Give him a timeline to move out, and you can even help him try to find a job. Better late than never.
Annie Lane’s second anthology, “How Can I Forgive My Cheating Partner?” is out now, featuring favorite columns on marriage, infidelity, communication and reconciliation. Visit http://www.creatorspublishing.com for more information. Send your questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.