– Worried in Louisiana
Dear Annie: My mother-in-law is 96 years old, and her daughter lives with her. She has been in the nursing homes and hospitals, and has had a nurse assistant to help take care of her. Her daughter refuses to let anybody come to her brother’s house where she is staying.
My husband has been having many problems with his sister. She told him to call before he comes to see his mother and that anybody who wants to see her has to call and make an appointment. The sister’s children are the only ones allowed to see her or come as they please.
My husband worries so much that he can’t see his mother when he wants to. His mother had to have both legs amputated and is not getting proper care. Is there anything we can do for him to see her? All of the grandchildren can’t see him either.
Dear Worried: Your sister-in-law’s controlling, cagey behavior feels like a red flag to me, too. You’d think she’d feel relieved that your family’s so willing to help with their mother’s care and would encourage as many visits as possible, considering your mother-in-law’s age and serious health conditions.
There is strength in numbers. Your husband and his other shut-out siblings should communicate firmly and directly with this sister about their worries and figure out a plan that incorporates them more in their mother’s life and care. If this sister’s intentions are pure – as she seems to think they are – she should be open to something that would so clearly benefit their mother.
Dear Annie: In my dating life, I am often disappointed. I’ll ask a guy to go on a date and he’ll agree to. Then we plan a date, and he doesn’t show up, so I end up by myself. I keep finding guys who don’t have the same values that I do.
I believe what the Bible says, that you shouldn’t have sex before marriage. I even wear a purity ring on my finger and tell others why it’s there. I want a man who works, doesn’t do drugs, believes in God and will take me out, not the other way around. Yes, I have high standards, but I believe this is not asking a lot from anyone.
How is one to stay pure in an impure world? I’m not lowering my standards for anyone, nor meeting them halfway. They are what they are, but I’m tired of being alone.
ARIES (March 21 to April 19) Is that Arian self-esteem in need of shoring up? Best advice: Do something that will make someone feel good about themselves. It will make you feel proud that you did it.
TAURUS (April 20 to May 20) It’s time to prove to your detractors that you’re way ahead of them when it comes to getting things done. So, be sure to avoid surprise distractions and complete that project as soon as possible.
GEMINI (May 21 to June 20) Be careful not to waste your precious energy on frivolous matters that don’t advance your goals. Stay focused. There’ll be enough time for fun and games after you reach your objective.
CANCER (June 21 to July 22) You’ve done well on your own, but now could be a good time to consider advice from confidantes, as long as you continue to let your own instincts be your primary guide.
LEO (July 23 to August 22) A belated New Year’s “gift” could create a problem if you feel unwilling or unable to adjust your plans and accommodate the new development. Check out all options before deciding.
VIRGO (August 23 to September 22) There’s a possibility that you could be goaded into making a statement you might regret. It’s important to stay cool no matter how heated the conversation gets.
LIBRA (September 23 to October 22) A recent sad experience can become a valuable lesson. Examine it well and take what you’ve learned to help you make an important upcoming decision.
SCORPIO (October 23 to November 21) Lingering problems in a personal or professional partnership still need to be resolved so you can move on. Insist on more cooperation from everyone involved.
SAGITTARIUS (November 22 to December 21) That recent problem that made you feel emotionally trapped and physically exhausted is gone. Don’t dwell on it. Instead, make new plans and set up other goals.
CAPRICORN (December 22 to January 19) Your creative talents combine with a strong domestic aspect this week, which means you can start on those home-improvement projects that you’ve been planning for a long time.
AQUARIUS (January 20 to February 18) It’s a good time to anticipate an upcoming change in the near future. This could mean taking on a new career, going off to a new city or moving into a new home.
PISCES (February 19 to March 20) Soon, you should be learning more about the motives of those who continue to pressure you into making a decision that you’re still unsure about. Use this information wisely.
BORN THIS WEEK: The flow of your generosity seems to have no limit. However, you’re smart enough to know when it’s time to cap it.