Life’s Big Questions

J-14 HAS THE ANSWERS TO YOUR MOST BURNING QUESTIONS AND PERSONAL DILEMMAS!

Q: I have social anxiety, which means some days I’m fine and some days I get so anxious about going out that I cancel on my friends. I don’t know how to explain it to them without freaking everyone out. I don’t want them to feel sorry for me! What do I do? — Luna, 16

A: Hi, Luna. We understand this must feel pretty heavy and we hope we can help!

Q: Okay, so, I like this guy who is my best friend’s neighbor. I think I’m invisible to him. I really want to impress him, but how? HELP ME! What do I do? — Ashlynn, 13

A: Hi, Ashlynn. We’ve so been there. We think you should use the fact that this is your best friend’s neighbor to your advantage. After all, who better to help you get the guy than your bestie?! Ask her to invite him over while you’re there. She can introduce the two of you so that you can get to know each other better. Since you’ve never spoken to one another before, you’ll be starting with the basics like what grade you’re in and how you know your best friend. Don’t worry about impressing him! Having your friend there will make things less awkward and *fingers crossed* sparks will fly!

Q:

I’m a little chubby and all of the trends right now show more skin than I’m comfortable showing. I’m embarrassed to try new things. How do I stay chic while still dressing modestly?

— Kelsey, 14

A: Hi, Kelsey! Have you considered following Instagrammers who have similar body types to your own? It’s a great way to get fashion inspiration! It’s important to note that you should wear what you want to wear — clothes are meant to be fun expressions of who we are and that doesn’t exclude any body type! If dressing modestly is your vibe, own it! Midi dresses and baggy athleisure sets are both trendy and neither show much skin. As far as being embarrassed to try something new, summer is the perfect time because you won’t see as many of your classmates and you can kick off the new school year feeling more used to your clothes. Always remember that the chicest thing is confidence!

Q:

My friends call me an “at home friend” and they never let me hang out with them at school. They are rude when it’s a group, but one-onone, it’s like we’re BFFs. — Sam, 12

Honesty is always the best policy, so, if you’re comfortable, we think you should tell your closest friends the truth. If doing it in person sounds intimidating, you can send a text to your best friend and ask her if she can pass along the info to the group of people you want to know. Good friends are there through it all, so they’ll be understanding. In your text, make note that you don’t want them to feel sorry for you or treat you any differently. You can include as many or as few details as you’d like. The real purpose is to let them know that if you ever cancel last minute, it has nothing to do with your friendship. Once they know, well, that’s it, they know! Nothing else in your friendship has to change.

It’s just one part of you andr you friends obviously love you for a million reasons. Best of luck!

A: Hey Sam, we’re so sorry you’re going through this. We’re going to be honest: Someone who calls you an “at home friend” is not a true friend. If these two girls don’t love you enough to hang out with you in public, then they’re not worth the friendship you have in private. We think you should tell them that the way you’re being treated hurts your feelings. Start spending more time with other friends who treat you better. We know it stinks to lose people who felt like best friends, but if you spend time with other people, you’ll soon make new besties!

A: You don’t need a lot of money to give your room a more grownup makeover! From this moment on, consider Pinterest your new best friend. Search things like “teen bedroom update,” “cheap bedroom makeover” and “bedroom DIY.” You can also make things more specific by searching aesthetics you’re into, like shabby chic or minimalist. Also, pay attention to small details that have a big impact. A new rug at the foot of your bed, different artwork on the walls, swapped-out knobs on your furniture and new bedding can all transform a room. If you’re allowed to, a fresh coat of paint will instantly change the vibe of your room. You can also sort out things from your childhood that you can donate. Less clutter will make your room feel less childish and more your age!

Q: My best friend got a job and now we have no time to hang out. We were inseparable and now I miss her! Help! — RJ, 15

A: Hey, RJ! Before you get too stressed about this, remember that all of your peers who have jobs manage to make time for friendships. Your friend’s new job doesn’t mean the end of you two handing out for good! It’s all about being mindful of her schedule and working things out from there. Ask her to text you the days she has work and then you can fit in time around that. You may see her less often, but you can still hang out!