‘Plus one’ college student needs gifting guidance

DEAR AMY >> My daughter, who is in college, is attending a wedding in her boyfriend’s family.

One of his aunts is getting married. The wedding is on the smaller side.

The invitation came to her boyfriend at college and was addressed to the two of them.

They do not live together but they have been together for almost a year and have visited each other over the summer, so our daughter has met several of his extended family members.

I suggested that she ask for their registry information so she can send a gift.

She seemed unsure about doing that.

Do you think this is the right thing to do, or is she her boyfriend’s “plus one” and not expected to provide a gift?

Should she just send a thank you note for being included among the wedding guests? Or should she do nothing but attend and enjoy?

We really like her boyfriend and have met his parents and some of his family members.

We just want to advise her to do the right thing.

— To Gift or not to Gift

DEAR TO GIFT >> It seems most logical that your daughter’s boyfriend, who is the primary guest and also a family member, should take the lead regarding a gift, and then the two young people can go in on it together.

Given that they are college students, they should keep their gift modest. The boyfriend might locate a family photo (possibly of his aunt as a child) and have it reproduced and framed, as a gift.

Your daughter should follow up afterward, congratulate the couple, and thank them for including her — saying what a nice time she had celebrating with family.