Bocce ball league forming in M’town
Individuals, teams welcome to sign up for April 6 opener
MIDDLETOWN >> The Middletown Bocce Ball League is starting its third year of play April 6. All those interested in playing should visit the league’s website at www.middletownbocce.org or email countkoury@gmail.com for more information.
You can start a team or join an existing team, which consists of four to 12 players. No experience is necessary.
“Bocce ball is a fun, commutative game that can be played by almost anyone,” said Richard Koury, president of the Middletown Bocce Ball League.
The bocce ball courts are located in Middletown. Twelve teams participated a year ago and league officials are looking for at least as many teams this year. Play is on Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday from 6 p.m. to about 8:30 p.m. Lights have been installed for play after sunset.
The league offers spring and fall seasons. The spring season runs from April to June. The fall season runs from August to September, after which a series of playoffs are held to determine the league’s champion.
Players and fans usually bring food to consume and share before and during play.
“Bocce ball is great fun and brings the community together,” Koury said.
ciAR AMY >> My husband of 13 years is having boundary issues with a colleague. They became close when he had a depressive episode last year and confided in her instead of me. He said a lot of things to her that made me uncomfortable, including comments about our relationship and our finances.
I read his messages and have proof.
I confessed to him that I read his messages, and we talked about it. He said that he no longer considers her “a friend.”
I am still reading his messages because I don’t trust him, and today I read a reply from him to her where he said he would “love to see her.” He hasn’t told me about it. Hmmm. They aren’t friends? I don’t believe him. I know they don’t have a physical relationship, but I am sick of being lied to and don’t understand why he can’t just be open with me.
We both have therapists but can’t afford therapy together. I feel like I’ve already done the nuclear option and now I don’t know what else to do. I also know what I am doing is very bad, but I can’t just stop, knowing all this. What now?
— Upset Wife
DEAR WIFI >> Your husband isn’t the only member of your household who has boundary issues. Your own choice to continue to violate his privacy is leaping over an important personal boundary that is affecting your relationship.
Yes, he erred when he confided in his friend at work about your relationship and private life. His choice to do that denotes the possible first stages of an “emotional affair,” fostering emotional intimacy with someone other than his spouse.
Not to excuse his choice, but you might ask yourself why your husband confided in someone else when he was going through a tough time. You don’t mention what inspired you to monitor his communication in the first place, but you must explore how your behavior might be connected with his. You suggest that your relationship is otherwise great, but a next step might be for you to admit that — right now — it isn’t.
You are both vulnerable. Your husband “can’t be honest” with you and you can’t seem to be honest with him. You aren’t the bad guy here, but maybe he isn’t, either.
Honesty entails more than just admitting that you caught him doing something you don’t want him to do. Tell him that you would like to work as an equal, flawed, and vulnerable partner to rebuild trust — together.
You are each in therapy; you should definitely be in therapy together. Perhaps his therapist would agree to let you sit in for a session in order to communicate about this openly and in a mediated discussion.
DEAR AMY >> I share your column regularly with my 11-year-old daughter.
She also happens to be a fashionista, and after reading the question from “Copied,” who was annoyed by her co-worker copying all of her outfits, my daughter suggested this solution: Why not do the nicest thing and offer to take this woman shopping?
— Shopping in Californa