Minimalist wants to maximize birthday gift

DEAR AMY >> I have always been against senseless consumerism. I am a minimalist in almost all aspects of my life.

I do not try to impose my beliefs on anyone, however, whenever I am invited to birthday parties, I almost wish I wasn’t.

My solution is to give a gift card, which the recipient can spend on whatever they might need or want.

For some people, that might seem tactless or impersonal, but to me this works better when it comes to giving gifts to adults.

My friend has invited me to one of her kids’ birthday parties.

This child is turning five, and although I know I can’t come emptyhanded, I also don’t want to give any gifts.

I know that my friend’s child, whom I adore and have babysat for many times, needs nothing.

These parents are wealthy, she has a loving extended family, and friends that give her more that she can even play with.

My conundrum is: I don’t want to give something that I am sure is going to end up in the bottom of some drawer, but I understand that convention calls for some kind of present.

Should I give up my beliefs, suck it up, and buy something for this child?

— I’m Not Cheap

DEAR NOT CHEAP >> There is no need to buy anything in order to give a child a wonderful gift.

This child knows you well. She might enjoy a “coupon” for an experience.

You can make a special card for her, telling her that she can choose her own activity and “spend” this card on: A special “play date” with you; a “cooking lesson,” where you will assist her as she makes a special dish in the kitchen; two-hours with you, ice skating or kicking a soccer ball... (the options are fairly endless).

Make sure she understands that she should keep the card and think about the choices she can make. She can talk it over with you, make her selection, and enjoy her special birthday gift along with you.

And a note about gift cards: If you are truly a minimalist concerned about consumerism, you should rethink this practice, because in using gift cards, you are basically encouraging spending, buying, and consuming.

You might better give cash (the person could choose to save it, or pay some bills), or treat the recipient to drinks, a bite, or a movie ticket.

DEAR AMY >> “Deflated Post Wedding” described his extreme disappointment that his daughter did not visit all guests at their tables during the reception.

Hello, isn’t this what the receiving line is for?