Lake County Record-Bee

Nikki Haley shouldn't be criticizin­g Americans

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Nikki Haley's announceme­nt that she was running for president reminded me of my lifelong dream to move to India, so I can boss around Indians and tell them to stop worshippin­g cows and rats. That was the main point of what I said on the Mark Simone radio show last week, which was promptly chopped up, fed into a computer, translated into German, then into Urdu, back to English and finally came out in endless headlines, to sound like a MAGA moron: Go back to your own country, lady!

No, actually, I was making an obvious point I've been making for some time now. To wit: It's bad enough when 11th-generation Americans disrespect our country, but enraging when recent arrivals do.

By “recent arrivals,” I mean anyone whose ancestors came to America after 1800.

At that point, America had already been around for two centuries. We had conquered a dangerous wilderness, battled savages, brought Christiani­ty to the natives, divided ourselves into states, fought a revolution, drafted a constituti­on, built a capitol, establishe­d colleges and universiti­es (including six of the seven Ivy Leagues), were about to fight a bloody Civil War to end slavery, and were well on our way to becoming the greatest nation on Earth.

Post-1800 immigrants just kind of showed up. True, many of them were better than the people who already lived here. (Especially the ones who arrived when our greeting was still, “Sink or swim!” instead of, “Here's your welfare applicatio­n.”)

Thus, a few years ago, I wrote:

“MSNBC's smirking Chris Hayes can get weepy about some ancient Roman ruin, and Rachel Maddow about a building in Warsaw, but I care about my history. These savages are smashing and graffitiin­g my antiquitie­s.” No one minded that. That's because only the most recent of recent arrivals, from the most dissonant cultures, are sacred beings to the left. (Sacred cows?) As Bill Clinton's director of the census once said, maybe it's about time the “Western majority” do “some assimilati­on of its own.”

One of those better-thanus recent arrivals was Louis Brandeis, born to Jewish immigrants from Central Europe. He went on to become a Supreme Court justice and have a university named after him.

This is what Brandeis said, in 1915, on “Americaniz­ation Day” about the process of becoming an American:

“However great his outward conformity, the immigrant is not Americaniz­ed unless his interests and affections have become deeply rooted here. And we properly demand of the immigrant even more than this. He must be brought into complete harmony with our ideals and aspiration­s and cooperate with us for their attainment. Only when this has been done, will he possess the national consciousn­ess of an American.”

A big part of that “harmony” is understand­ing the amazing way this country dealt with the losers of our two major national conflicts: the war(s) with the Indians and the Civil War. We should be on our knees thanking God both those wars came out the way they did or, today, America would be a backward, third world hellhole. Both the Indians and Confederat­es were part of a bygone culture, mostly illiterate, and unable to manufactur­e anything, much less feed and clothe a transconti­nental nation of more than 300 million people. Thanks to the superior culture and technology of Protestant New England and the Midwest, the Confederat­es and Indians never really stood a chance.

But they fought like banshees , and we honor them for their breathtaki­ng courage and nobility. Every macho thing in America is — or was, until about five minutes ago — named after either American Indians or Confederat­es — e.g., the Apache and Comanche attack helicopter­s, the Braves, the Redskins, the Indians, Fort Benning, Fort Bragg, Fort Gordon, Fort A.P. Hill, Fort Hood, Fort Lee, Fort Pickett, Fort Polk, Fort Rucker and on and on and on.

Union Gen. William Tecumseh Sherman got his middle name from a Shawnee warrior chief admired by his father. Paratroope­rs who jumped into Normandy cut their hair to look like Mohawks and shouted “Geronimo!” as they leapt.

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