Getting your cat comfortable with its carrier

I adopted a 3-year-old cat from a local shelter. I have been unsuccessful with transporting her to a veterinarian. She refuses to be coaxed into a pet carrier. An at-home visit by a veterinarian was also futile. After each prospective attempt she becomes terrified and will hide for a few days. I think her early experiences of life developed these fears. I would appreciate any advice. — Joy Adams, Orlando

Only the cat can decide when going into a pet carrier is not a bad thing — you can never coax a cat into doing anything. Most carriers break down into a top, bottom and a door. So break it down into these three parts and just leave the open bottom half in the kitchen where the cat eats. Place your cat’s food bowl in the middle of the bottom half of the carrier that is on the floor and forget about the situation for a couple of weeks.

The cat is going to climb into the bottom half of the carrier to eat every day and will quickly lose any hesitation about it. Then put the top on the bottom but leave the door off and keep putting the cats food dish inside the carrier, after a day or two of hesitation the cat will crawl right inside to eat.

When the cat is totally comfortable about this situation you put the door on but tie it with a bit of string to keep it open. Keep feeding the cat inside as you have been doing. Then, when the cat is going in and out of the carrier of its own free will you periodically close the door and carry the cat around the house or in the yard.

Gradually you can start to put the carrier with the cat in it in the car for short trips and thus you now have a cat that will willingly go inside a carrier and then for a ride in the car, ready to go to the vet.

My cat, who I have had for the last 18 years just died, her death was peaceful but it is still tearing me apart. My friends at work think I am crazy when they see me crying at my desk. I just cannot imagine how my life can feel whole again and yet I feel guilty in a way that I am grieving so much over an animal. Everyone says to get another cat and I will feel better, but I feel that by doing so I am not being loyal to the memory of her. Is there anything you can tell me to make me feel better and should I get another cat right away? — Mary Cortez, Las Vegas

This is a question close to my heart, because in the past decade I have lost so many of my own pets — dog, cat, bird, bunny, ferret — if it was close to my heart I lost it, and with each one a little bit of my heart went with it.

So what advice can I give you? Nothing really, the void in your heart will always be there and the non-pet owners will always think you are crazy and that is just the way it is.

However the ability to endure grief and go on with life is universal among all of us creatures and in time you will deal with the situation