On legal brothels, sex work and feminism

IN response to Melissa Farley’s April 28 commentary advocating the abolition of Nevada’s legal brothels: Ms. Farley equates the experience of illegal prostitutes and trafficked sex slaves, who often become victims of pimps, with legal sex workers who operate out of licensed brothels. Anyone unfamiliar with the industry would think they are one in the same based on Ms. Farley’s wild and unfounded generalizations.

Ms. Farley declares that “Nevada’s legal pimps are control-obsessed thugs who regularly assault women.” But she offers no evidence to support it. None of her so-called sources is named nor are there any references given for any of her claims, so there is no way for the reader to know if they are credible. She throws around “statistics” without sharing how she conducted her so-called surveys.

I do not buy into the idea that you have to hate men, hate sex with men or consider men as always predatorial in order to be a feminist. In fact, if you are someone who insists on characterizing women as victims of men — always getting outsmarted, overpowered and taken advantage of by men while being incapable of saving themselves – you are not a feminist. Women, as a demographic, aren’t stupid, weak, pathetic or helpless. Women are not less than men. All women do not hate sex or think sex with men is abuse.

Ms. Farley’s assertion that sex work is “renting an organ for 10 minutes” is proof she has no idea what she’s talking about. Anyone who has ever worked as a courtesan in a legal brothel knows from experience that the clients who come to us are, for the most part, decent human beings who often have compelling reasons for choosing the brothel option. They are real people in search of intimacy, connection and affection. Often, the provider is tasked with helping to ease their fears because the men, women and couples who come for these services often feel quite vulnerable.

How can that be, you might ask? Simply, the legal brothel is feminist heaven. The courtesans are the ones who decide who they will or will not bed, what activity they will or will not allow and what they will charge for that activity. They have the power of the words “yes” and “no” at their disposal at any given time. It is one of the very few professions in which women both call the shots and get paid better than men.

Ms. Farley’s assertion that women are routinely brutalized, raped and sexually harassed in legal brothels to the point that “assault seemed almost insignificant to them” is crazy. More often, for that demographic of women who have been victimized or who are at risk, the brothel provides a safe haven. The majority of legal courtesans are in the legal brothels because they have made a career decision that suits their temperament, talents and life goals. We, on the whole, are very happy. Our clients, on the whole, are absolutely respectful and have better manners than men outside the brothel culture.

Ms. Farley started her diatribe by mentioning unsubstantiated accusations of sexual assault against brothel owner Dennis Hof. I know Mr. Hof, having worked for him closely for years. If anyone has evolved the legal brothels away from the criminal run lock-down houses, it’s him. His houses are luxurious havens. His attitude is to do what you need to do to make the ladies want to stay. Anytime a lady wants to walk out the door, however, that’s what she does.

Tim Brinton