Job-hopping husband stresses out wife

Dear Abby: My husband suffers from migraines and has never been happy in any job he’s had. He has tried every available treatment for his migraines, to no avail. He still has them daily. I think they may be partly psychological.

In the 10 years we’ve been married, he has had six jobs. The longest one lasted three years but ended miserably. He went on sick leave because of his manager and eventually quit on bad terms.

As soon as he doesn’t like a person above him or a situation, his migraines get worse and he quits. He’s now talking about leaving the job he got two months ago. He sees two therapists to deal with these and other issues.

Where do I draw the line between being a supportive wife and just wanting a stable life for our family? We have two young kids. I earn a good income and have always had stable jobs. I started a new job six months ago that is very stressful, and this has been tough on me. — Miserable in Montreal

Dear Miserable: Because the stress of your marriage is now affecting you, it’s time to make an appointment with a therapist for yourself. Whether your husband’s migraines are real, psychosomatic or an excuse to run from an uncomfortable situation, I can’t guess. You need an expert who is closer to home to help you figure this out.

Dear Abby: I am a widow who spends summers up north with my son and winters with my daughter down south. My problem is, a friend of my daughter’s is extremely rude and insulting to me.

“Valerie” arrives at my daughter’s without being invited, walks in and either makes a disparaging remark to me (“You still here?”) or walks right past me with her nose in the air. My daughter says nothing.

I have always tried to be pleasant to Valerie, but I’m tired of her rude behavior. — Unwelcomed in New York

Dear Unwelcomed: I agree, Valerie’s behavior is disrespectful and hostile. Express this to your (silent) daughter and ask how she feels about the way her friend behaves with you, and why she’s allowed to drop in with no notice. Her answer may be enlightening.

Dear Readers: I wish a very Happy Mother’s Day to mothers everywhere — birth mothers, adoptive and foster mothers, stepmothers, grandmothers who are raising their grandchildren, and dualrole dads. — Love, Abby Dear Abby is written by Abigail Van Buren, also known as Jeanne Phillips, and was founded by her mother, Pauline Phillips. Contact Dear Abby at dearabby.com or P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles, CA 90069.