Talk to ex-wife about messy daughter

Dear Abby: My 16-yearold daughter, “Katie,” leaves her nice clothes, wet towels and debris strewn around her room. She stays with me half the time, and her mother the other half. She’s involved in activities and Advanced Placement courses in school, so when she gets home, she studies or needs to sleep. I remind her to pick her things up off the floor, but she rarely does it.

Should I just leave them and allow Katie to live in a mess until she gets sick of it, or straighten up ahead of time so when she comes over her room is tidy, and maybe she’ll realize it’s how the place should always look? She’s a sweet, loving and considerate kid, but, frankly, she gets very dramatic — especially when she’s hormonal — which makes it hard for a rational conversation. — Frustrated Father

Dear Frustrated: You and your ex-wife may be divorced, but you need to be on the same page when it comes to parenting. Ask her if she allows clothing and towels to be left on the floor of Katie’s room and, if not, how she handles it.

Dear Abby: Recently some of my extended family had dinner together at a restaurant. After the waiter brought our meal to the table, my adult nephew asked all 10 of us to pause before eating while he “offered thanks” for the meal. Most of the family is religious and may not have minded. However, some of us are not religious and never pray before meals, something everyone there has known for decades.

If we gather at someone’s house, we follow the custom of the host and there’s no objection, but I think it’s presumptuous to insist on making everyone wait while they perform this ritual in public. — Godless In Texas

Dear Godless: Unless your nephew was delivering a sermon and you were experiencing symptoms of hypoglycemia, I don’t think it was a great imposition to wait until he said the blessing.

That said, because you felt imposed upon, say something to your nephew — or pass on the next dinner invitation.

Dear Abby: I recently had my heart broken. After this girl left me, I started talking to some other girls I like, and they like me back. The problem is, I want to date these girls, but I don’t want to just date one and have the others be sad because I didn’t choose them. — Keeping Everyone Happy

Dear Keeping: Explain to the girls that you like them, but you have been through a painful breakup and are not ready for another exclusive relationship. It’s called “playing the field,” and it’s the truth.