Parents’ permanent move confuses kids

Dear Abby: My husband and I relocated to a warmer climate a few years ago, putting us more than 1,000 miles away from my adult children. The kids all seem to think this trip was just for fun, and continue to ask me to “come home.”

All three of them are busy with their own well-rounded lives, and the last few years we were there, their visits became less frequent and shorter. We are now in a state that is much more economical than our home state, and our health and well-being have greatly improved. How do I let them know, once and for all, that I home? — Loving The Southwest custody of my younger half-brother after a nasty legal battle with my father and stepmother. While we abhor what led to this, we are delighted my brother is in our home and our lives. With the exception of his parents, so is everyone else in our families.

My brother will be coming with us to family gatherings that include my dad and stepmother. Most of the family is not privy to the circumstances that led to this situation, and I’m sure questions will come up. My brother has PTSD from it, and talking about it is difficult for him. He’s in therapy, but how can we dissuade potentially upsetting questions without things being weird? — Protective In California

Dear Protective: A way to accomplish it would be to have a private talk with your relatives before these events. Explain what happened and that your brother is receiving help but is in too much pain right now to answer any questions.

Dear Abby: I’m responding to “Not Just Mary, in the South” (Nov. 10), the lady whose name is Mary Lou but is continually called only Mary, even though she prefers being called by her full name. I had the same problem.

My name is Mary Ann, but I was constantly called Mary, which I

To solve the problem, I combined the names and started writing my name as one word — Maryann. Since then, I have never again been called Mary. — Maryann In Tennessee

Dear Maryann: I’m printing your letter because it makes perfect sense. Thank you for sharing.