Antidepressant side effects vex spouse

Dear Abby: My wife and I have been married for 40 years. We were opposites who were attracted to each other and enjoyed a lot of the same things.

For 20 years, my wife has been taking an antidepressant (prescribed by her primary care physician, not a psychiatrist), and she has every side effect of the drug. For years I have tried to get her to seek help.

Although we still live in the same house, we have been going our own ways for the last year and a half. Even though my wife is a good person, I do not want to spend the rest of my life with someone who is incapable of having a decent conversation, let alone being able to or having a need to be intimate.

I am going to move out. My question is, do I tell our children we are separating because their mom is addicted to a drug, or should I just take the blame? — Entangled in New Jersey

Dear Entangled: Your wife is not addicted to her antidepressant, and you shouldn’t say that to your children. The medication was prescribed for her by a well-meaning physician who obviously didn’t explain that there are alternative drugs with fewer side effects.

Your wife needs to consult a psychopharmacologist, a doctor with expertise in brain chemistry. Before moving out, please offer her the option of talking to one.

Dear Abby: My husband and I moved to a new neighborhood right before COVID hit. One of our neighbors is frequently out inspecting our lawn and has trespassed through our gate into our backyard to offer a “reminder” about lawn maintenance.

We mow our yard every few weeks because the grass doesn’t grow terribly fast. How do we handle this diplomatically? — Grass Isn’t Greener

Dear Grass: “Diplomatically” tell your neighbor you are maintaining your lawn as best you can, and from now on, you want him to stay off your property. Said with a smile, the message may be more easily accepted.

Dear Abby: How can I let someone know about my good fortune without appearing to be bragging? The intent is to hopefully form a business alliance. — Good Fortune in the West

Dear Good Fortune:

Preface your announcement by explaining why you are sharing the news. Example: “John, I have some important news. I’m sharing it because it may present an opportunity for you. I just won $1 million in the lottery, and I’m thinking of starting a new business. Are you interested?”